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Substance Abuse
Moved son out yesterday and am heartbroken
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<blockquote data-quote="Mom1967" data-source="post: 748376" data-attributes="member: 23847"><p>****UPDATE*****</p><p></p><p>After sobbing my way through the first 72 hours and doing a lot of praying and reading the support above and I am doing better. </p><p></p><p>My son called me today on his new cellphone that he is paying for. He told me he found a guy looking for a roommate and will get his stuff out of storage. He said the reason for his call was to get the storage unit number and combo lock number. </p><p></p><p>I barely spoke and let him lead the conversation. After a long pause he said I’m sorry everything happened. He had done this before where he makes a blanket apology in order to get something from me. </p><p></p><p>So I said sorry for what exactly? And he said just for getting into a fight with you. </p><p></p><p>So I said, </p><p>How about for being belligerent? </p><p>For calling the police on me because you wanted paintball pants out of my house. </p><p>For kicking in the door?</p><p>For hurting me? </p><p>For taking drugs and storing drugs in my house and lying repeatedly about it when confronted? </p><p></p><p>He said I didn’t hurt you. And I said, should I text you the photos? </p><p></p><p>He said he would refuse to look at them, didn’t believe me, and angrily ascertained that he didn’t do anything that bad, it was no big deal and I was the one who scratched his neck. He was the victim of me. </p><p></p><p>I told him, he kicked down a barricaded door, knocked me over and the scratches on his neck were from me putting my hands up and defending by myself when he pushed me over going up the stairs. </p><p></p><p>He started to yell and I hung up.</p><p></p><p>He is in denial. He was probably on more than weed and doesn’t remember the situation clearly. He is lying to himself and blaming me. </p><p>I think he is also scared to death. </p><p></p><p>I texted him the photos of my bruises and the door off the hinge. </p><p></p><p>I told him that I am moving, as previously scheduled on Thursday to my new house which is two hours away. I am taking a break from him until he is ready and able to accept responsibility for his actions toward me. </p><p></p><p>I trust that he is able to make his own decisions, take care of himself and suffer or handle the consequences of whatever decisions he makes. I am trusting God for him. </p><p></p><p>When he is ready to be real, and honest feel free to reach out but as for now I’m letting you know that I cannot accept and will not tolerate this behavior towards me. </p><p></p><p>Since he hasn’t been to the storage unit yet, he hasn’t seen what I left for him. In the front of the unit when he opens the door are all of his athletic awards, a trophy from when I coached his volleyball team, and in front of it is about 2/3 of the used drug wrappers I found in his room. </p><p></p><p>I hope the message he gets is this is who I am and this is what I am doing. </p><p></p><p>When I packed up his room, since it was a safety crises, I bagged everything, and I mean everything into garbage bags. He is going to be so mad all the trash etc he refused to clean up out of his room is in there along with everything else. There was no clothes in one bag and shoes in the other. I packed him right after the police gave me his key and told him to leave and came back as soon as they left and kicked the door in, etc. I was not in a sorting frame of mind. I was in I need to get this kid out of here before he decides he wants something else out of his room. </p><p></p><p>So I think he will be mad but seeing all of the marijuana stuff in the front of the unit piled up will hopefully help him to understand he’s lucky to get his stuff, Regardless of how it was packed. </p><p></p><p>I move tomorrow and leave him here. I haven’t slept a wink. I don’t know how I will get through moving day tomorrow. It’s 3 am and I have to let the movers in at 6 am. </p><p></p><p>My son does not know my new address. I have a security system being installed on Friday. </p><p></p><p>I hope that in the future I can have a positive relationship with my son and he is able to take responsibility and he views me removing him as the best thing I could have done. </p><p></p><p>Since he was so convinced he didn’t do anything that bad while we were on the phone, I think it’s going to be a long while. I still afraid that I have lost him for life. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for being here for me. I would not have made it without this forum. I really needed help to see my situation clearly and to help me cope. </p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p><p></p><p>Debbie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom1967, post: 748376, member: 23847"] ****UPDATE***** After sobbing my way through the first 72 hours and doing a lot of praying and reading the support above and I am doing better. My son called me today on his new cellphone that he is paying for. He told me he found a guy looking for a roommate and will get his stuff out of storage. He said the reason for his call was to get the storage unit number and combo lock number. I barely spoke and let him lead the conversation. After a long pause he said I’m sorry everything happened. He had done this before where he makes a blanket apology in order to get something from me. So I said sorry for what exactly? And he said just for getting into a fight with you. So I said, How about for being belligerent? For calling the police on me because you wanted paintball pants out of my house. For kicking in the door? For hurting me? For taking drugs and storing drugs in my house and lying repeatedly about it when confronted? He said I didn’t hurt you. And I said, should I text you the photos? He said he would refuse to look at them, didn’t believe me, and angrily ascertained that he didn’t do anything that bad, it was no big deal and I was the one who scratched his neck. He was the victim of me. I told him, he kicked down a barricaded door, knocked me over and the scratches on his neck were from me putting my hands up and defending by myself when he pushed me over going up the stairs. He started to yell and I hung up. He is in denial. He was probably on more than weed and doesn’t remember the situation clearly. He is lying to himself and blaming me. I think he is also scared to death. I texted him the photos of my bruises and the door off the hinge. I told him that I am moving, as previously scheduled on Thursday to my new house which is two hours away. I am taking a break from him until he is ready and able to accept responsibility for his actions toward me. I trust that he is able to make his own decisions, take care of himself and suffer or handle the consequences of whatever decisions he makes. I am trusting God for him. When he is ready to be real, and honest feel free to reach out but as for now I’m letting you know that I cannot accept and will not tolerate this behavior towards me. Since he hasn’t been to the storage unit yet, he hasn’t seen what I left for him. In the front of the unit when he opens the door are all of his athletic awards, a trophy from when I coached his volleyball team, and in front of it is about 2/3 of the used drug wrappers I found in his room. I hope the message he gets is this is who I am and this is what I am doing. When I packed up his room, since it was a safety crises, I bagged everything, and I mean everything into garbage bags. He is going to be so mad all the trash etc he refused to clean up out of his room is in there along with everything else. There was no clothes in one bag and shoes in the other. I packed him right after the police gave me his key and told him to leave and came back as soon as they left and kicked the door in, etc. I was not in a sorting frame of mind. I was in I need to get this kid out of here before he decides he wants something else out of his room. So I think he will be mad but seeing all of the marijuana stuff in the front of the unit piled up will hopefully help him to understand he’s lucky to get his stuff, Regardless of how it was packed. I move tomorrow and leave him here. I haven’t slept a wink. I don’t know how I will get through moving day tomorrow. It’s 3 am and I have to let the movers in at 6 am. My son does not know my new address. I have a security system being installed on Friday. I hope that in the future I can have a positive relationship with my son and he is able to take responsibility and he views me removing him as the best thing I could have done. Since he was so convinced he didn’t do anything that bad while we were on the phone, I think it’s going to be a long while. I still afraid that I have lost him for life. Thanks for being here for me. I would not have made it without this forum. I really needed help to see my situation clearly and to help me cope. Hugs. Debbie [/QUOTE]
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Moved son out yesterday and am heartbroken
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