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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 665425" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Tanya, thanks for this post. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think this is one of the most important things, this effort you started making to do something different.</p><p></p><p>I remember husband (then SO) who has worked with a lot of parents of addicts and alcoholics as a volunteer at a major national treatment center that is nearby here...he told me this...</p><p></p><p>Do one thing different.</p><p></p><p>I sluffed that off for a while, I couldn't see the value, it was too small, it didn't take into account how I was feeling, my suffering...I wasn't ready. I couldn't hear the value, then.</p><p></p><p>Do one thing different.</p><p></p><p>One small thing can lead to another small thing, and another, and then more and more, and that culmination of things builds a new life. </p><p></p><p>If we do what we have always done, we will get what we have always got.</p><p></p><p>Floating in the fog, drowning in it, sinking to the bottom and staying there for a long, long time...this too, is a necessary step. We have to go down before we can start up. </p><p></p><p>Looking back, I see the building blocks of my becoming a new person. Each block had a purpose. And then, when I was ready, and not one minute before that, I started rebuilding my life, even when my son was in the depths of his life.</p><p></p><p>One of the things I had to do differently is not talk to him very much at all for a long time. I had to severely limit our interaction because the cost to me was too high. It would set me back for days. </p><p></p><p>It has turned out to be the smallest things that are the most important things.</p><p></p><p>Thanks Tanya.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 665425, member: 17542"] Tanya, thanks for this post. I think this is one of the most important things, this effort you started making to do something different. I remember husband (then SO) who has worked with a lot of parents of addicts and alcoholics as a volunteer at a major national treatment center that is nearby here...he told me this... Do one thing different. I sluffed that off for a while, I couldn't see the value, it was too small, it didn't take into account how I was feeling, my suffering...I wasn't ready. I couldn't hear the value, then. Do one thing different. One small thing can lead to another small thing, and another, and then more and more, and that culmination of things builds a new life. If we do what we have always done, we will get what we have always got. Floating in the fog, drowning in it, sinking to the bottom and staying there for a long, long time...this too, is a necessary step. We have to go down before we can start up. Looking back, I see the building blocks of my becoming a new person. Each block had a purpose. And then, when I was ready, and not one minute before that, I started rebuilding my life, even when my son was in the depths of his life. One of the things I had to do differently is not talk to him very much at all for a long time. I had to severely limit our interaction because the cost to me was too high. It would set me back for days. It has turned out to be the smallest things that are the most important things. Thanks Tanya. [/QUOTE]
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