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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Moving from detox to rehab
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 683771" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Your son will stay if he is ready to truly quit. Sometimes codependents can influence their partners to quit or use, but in the end your son decides what he will do. It certainly is not on your shoulders. If he leaves for girlfriend in my opinion he wasnt going to see this thru anyway. Not yet.</p><p></p><p>You did not have to fund this rehab for your son. It is a costly gift because you love him. in my opinion you have no responsibility for this girlfriend. Are you rich enough to pay for two adults to maybe get clean (with no guarantee either will) and to still survive well yourself? Your son is not your boss and when he shouts lies at you, you dont have to own them or even listen to his accusations. Put your phone away. Only use it when YOU need it. Detach with love from your son's disease if it causes abuse against you. You have no responsibility to find a place for this drug addict girlfriend who is probably a negative influence on your son. Clearly, together is bad for both of them. And dangerous. There is no logic behind it being YOUR fault if he leaves rehab because you didnt find her a place to live. Its an excuse and a bizzare way to make you feel bad. It's the illness talking. Reject it. Dont listen.</p><p></p><p>Most of all, our adult kids need us to love them enough to let them live and learn. in my opinion girlfriend is your sons problem. in my opinion dont talk to her anymore and in my opinion tell son to get clean and that is the best way he can help girlfriend because you wont. She needs him clean to really be able to help her. Jmo.</p><p></p><p>Lots and lots of luck with son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 683771, member: 1550"] Your son will stay if he is ready to truly quit. Sometimes codependents can influence their partners to quit or use, but in the end your son decides what he will do. It certainly is not on your shoulders. If he leaves for girlfriend in my opinion he wasnt going to see this thru anyway. Not yet. You did not have to fund this rehab for your son. It is a costly gift because you love him. in my opinion you have no responsibility for this girlfriend. Are you rich enough to pay for two adults to maybe get clean (with no guarantee either will) and to still survive well yourself? Your son is not your boss and when he shouts lies at you, you dont have to own them or even listen to his accusations. Put your phone away. Only use it when YOU need it. Detach with love from your son's disease if it causes abuse against you. You have no responsibility to find a place for this drug addict girlfriend who is probably a negative influence on your son. Clearly, together is bad for both of them. And dangerous. There is no logic behind it being YOUR fault if he leaves rehab because you didnt find her a place to live. Its an excuse and a bizzare way to make you feel bad. It's the illness talking. Reject it. Dont listen. Most of all, our adult kids need us to love them enough to let them live and learn. in my opinion girlfriend is your sons problem. in my opinion dont talk to her anymore and in my opinion tell son to get clean and that is the best way he can help girlfriend because you wont. She needs him clean to really be able to help her. Jmo. Lots and lots of luck with son. [/QUOTE]
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Moving from detox to rehab
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