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Parent Emeritus
Moving toward grief and depression
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<blockquote data-quote="MissLulu" data-source="post: 757458" data-attributes="member: 24721"><p>Beta, so much of what you say resonates with me. I understand how this feels. Even though I have two other beautiful sons, who I am close to, the pain of rejection from my eldest is so strong. When I do things for my Difficult Child now, I know not to expect gratitude, but somewhere in the back of this tiny brain of mine I must not really "know" because I'm always hurt and disappointed when it doesn't come.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>And this. The shame. I posted about this yesterday on JMom's post. I feel so much shame at my son's choices. He's doing better right now and I know that's a blessing; one that I should be enjoying while I can, but I seem to be unable to fully shake off the shame of what has already happened and the fear of what may still come.</p><p></p><p>I don't have any words of wisdom or advice. I want to tell you not to worry about the "what ifs" and to let go of what you cannot control. But that would make me a hypocrite because I struggle with this myself every single day. All I can say is you have my love, my support and my understanding. Whatever happens next we will be here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MissLulu, post: 757458, member: 24721"] Beta, so much of what you say resonates with me. I understand how this feels. Even though I have two other beautiful sons, who I am close to, the pain of rejection from my eldest is so strong. When I do things for my Difficult Child now, I know not to expect gratitude, but somewhere in the back of this tiny brain of mine I must not really "know" because I'm always hurt and disappointed when it doesn't come. And this. The shame. I posted about this yesterday on JMom's post. I feel so much shame at my son's choices. He's doing better right now and I know that's a blessing; one that I should be enjoying while I can, but I seem to be unable to fully shake off the shame of what has already happened and the fear of what may still come. I don't have any words of wisdom or advice. I want to tell you not to worry about the "what ifs" and to let go of what you cannot control. But that would make me a hypocrite because I struggle with this myself every single day. All I can say is you have my love, my support and my understanding. Whatever happens next we will be here for you. [/QUOTE]
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Moving toward grief and depression
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