Mrs Catinthehat

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DammitJanet, Jan 10, 2008.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Is there any word on your son? How is he doing? How are you holding up?

    I have been thinking about you and your family.
  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Been thinking about you as well. How are things?
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Me too Beth - Let us know how you are doing.

  4. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Well, difficult child 2 has been adjudicated juvenile delinquant. Before they do the disposition (sentence) they are changing the venue. They are coming to our home county. This really upsets me. The only juvenile judge in our county does not take into consideration anything but what the dhs case worker says. And at this point she is not listening to anyone but what I think are the voices in her head.

    She originally wanted him to go back to the program he was in that he ran from. They won't take him back. Thankfully.

    So it looks like he will end up in one of the state training schools (kid prison is the translation there). This is not going to help him. He needs a treatment program. For some reason no one seems to care. We are doing battle. Our attorney is going to see what he can come up with. I have also been doing research on other options. Not that they will listen to me (I mean why would they I am only his mom) that way I can bring it up in court so at least there will be a transcript of it.

    I have been doing a lot of looking. The unfortunate thing is JSO (juvenile sex offender) programs are not easy to look up in my area. I realize they need to have security and privacy for the kids but no one seems to want to give a parent in search of the best place for her son any information. Our dhs worker claims she really doesn't know of too many. That seems to be a crock.

    The irony is after having talked to one of the people at GFG1s facility she is going to have her consultant look into it. How ironic is that. She gave me a couple of places to look into off the top of her head and said she would check into other things. This is going way beyond her duty. I told her how much we appreciate everything she does for difficult child 1 and the effort she is putting in for us on this. She said she feels so bad for all that we have had to battle that she wishes she could do more. We so found the right place for difficult child 1 there.

    I am scared that if the send him to the place they are talking of that they will just let him out at 18 and then we will be screwed. We are just now getting the reports from the neuropsychologist and other evaluations. In them it reccommends "treatment" so maybe we will be able to includ them in the court records to get something more done. It also says he will probably need treatment into adulthood. So I have a feeling this is going to be a bumpy ride.

    Thanks for asking. At the moment we are in the holding pattern. He is locked in the JDC (Juvenile Detention Center) and kept mostly in isolation for his own safety at this time. I can't bring myself to call him there. husband does the check ins to see how he is. We are going to have to plan a visit soon. I really am not looking forward to this. But alas not a choice. I do know that if he complains I will end the visit. I am not going to engage in any of that at this point. I didn't ask for this situation. I will make sure he has what he needs I will visit, play a game or something but I will not listen to him start with the "poor me" routine he has developed already with husband on the phone.

  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Do you think there is any coincidence in what happened and difficult child 2 being allowed to see bio-mom? Is DHS taking any responsibility for that? Or how about taking responsibility for not addressing these issues when you warned them about this behavior?

    I'm sorry. I'm just so frustrated for you.

  6. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I know the correlation and in my letter to the powers that be (not that it will do a lot) I am mentioning this. Everyone that knows anything can put the 2 and 2 together. He sees her on 26th then runs and does this on 29th. This is not coincidental. He had been doing well for a few days prior to that. No they haven't taken accountability but some is going to be shoved under their noses before we are through.

  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    There is a program here in the Twin Cities that evaluates young offenders but also treats them - I believe it's run by the UM. Again, it's not a highly "advertised" program.

    I'll do some digging because I know I have the info on this buried someplace in my files.

    Off the top of my head these are the 2 starting points that were offered to me at one point for wm. I cannot remember what response or if there was any follow up (obviously not) but this was in the midst of a multi tweedle crisis.

    It can't hurt to call & see if these programs have resources for you.

    Thanks for the update - if I find any more info, I'll pass it along.
  8. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I've also been thinking about you. I'm sorry that I have absolutely nothing to offer in the way of advice/information, but just want you to know you and your family are in my thoughts...WFEN
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    Thanks for the update, I have been worried about you. Be sure you and husband are taking care of yourselves and each other. This is so very hard. Glad difficult child 1 is in a good place.

    DHS should be held very much accountable, and I hope you manage to get this through. Is it possible to get your state representatives involved? This is the kind of thing that the media might also be interested in, though you certainly have had enough of them.