Hi All, I've been off the board for a few months, and thought things were truly getting better with younger Difficult Child, age 18. He has been working at a new job for almost a year now, had been more respectful, not fighting with siblings, etc. Progress! Well, having seemingly learned nothing about enabling, or rather ignoring my gut feelings on the matter, I gave in to his pleas to help him buy a car. Although in the end it turned out to be a truly stupid move on my part, it seemed logical at the time. His job is outside of the public transportation routes, he had just got a promotion to shift supervisor, was going to join the military soon to help pay for the car, etc. So to try to keep a long story short (maybe I'll elaborate later since it's too complicated), I co-signed a loan for a car. Again, I left my common-sense at home the day I accompanied him to the car dealership. The salesman said it would be a good way to help build his credit (and I listened!!) and Difficult Child assured me he'd give me all his paycheck to cover the payment, insurance, and gas. We figured it out, and it seemed possible on paper. He's kept his word so far and has paid all he's agreed to. This leaves him just a few dollars for spending money from each paycheck. However, things are about to get ugly and I am losing sleep over this. He had an accident in a different vehicle a few months ago, pulled out from a parking space and dented another car. The other driver made a claim on our insurance that was paid out, but no tickets were issued. Our insurance increased by $30 a month because of that on top of the already exorbitant price he was already paying. In the meantime, he has received three moving violations in the new car, one of which is for aggravated speeding, which is a Class A misdemeanor! He was going more than 50 mph over the limit. This was in conjunction with a ticket for improper lane change. He has a court date in 2 weeks for these. The other ticket (first of three) was also for improper lane change a couple of months ago. He had the option of doing an online traffic safety school to delete that ticket since it was his first violation. He did half the school and never completed it! He had 2 months to complete several hours of this school, and he waited until the last day to try to finish, and found out the website wasn't responding. I had been hounding him every day, and every day he said he'd finish. I told him he could maybe call the online school to get an extension for a day, but he didn't call. He's started getting mailings from attorneys about the aggravated speeding ticket. Apparently the maximum penalty is up to a year in jail and $2500 fines. I told him I can't afford to hire an attorney, and he can call one if he wants to. My first instinct was to say no, let him go to court and take whatever happens. But I'm second-guessing myself wondering if I should help him out this once since he's so young and I feel partly responsible for handing him the tool of his destruction (the car). Another factor is that my name is on the car title and loan, so I'm concerned about the fact that his insurance may be cancelled or at least unaffordable when these tickets are resolved. I'm used to having bad credit (unfortunately, another long story), so a repossession doesn't thrill me but it doesn't freak me out. When we were buying the car, I told him I couldn't afford to make his payments and if he didn't pay, he would lose the car. He said, "There's no way I'd let that happen to you, Mom." In a way, I wish his license would be suspended, his insurance would be cancelled, and we could get rid of the car so his paychecks could be used for other purposes (like him saving for an apartment). I know a repossession isn't "that easy" and there are still expenses involved, but at least he'd be off our insurance and would have to get his own in the future. If and when he could afford it. Should I even consider hiring an attorney for him, or let the consequences fall where they may? Financially, we're living paycheck to paycheck and I have a small amount of available credit on a card I had cleared off for emergencies. But maybe an attorney would be worth it if it keeps his insurance from being cancelled, etc.? But then what is he learning from his mistakes if I step in again?