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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 651156" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>Echo -- Your post moves me....in many ways. Your dream is definitely a gift. Dream memories, dream possibilities, dream what if's, dream fantasy -- all can be dream healing. Sounds like yours was.</p><p></p><p>It is crazy, isn't it? All that crazy, harsh stuff really did (and still does) happen. However, all that beautiful stuff really did (and may still happen.......in whatever small doses possible) happen. It's ALL real. It's often been so easy for me to have the bad overshadow the good (the bad can be so loud it drowns out all else for a time). Over the years, I find consciously seeking gratitude helps me retain any iota of good I can find (and sometimes I really have to look! LOL!).</p><p></p><p>But, as I believe every life matters, has value, and even has beauty.... I choose to continue to look for the value and beauty in every life. Maybe I'm still naive. But I still believe it's there -- in every single one of us. And that perspective also helps me heal whatever has felt lacerated inside of me. Time, space, boundaries and balance (of perspective) always help me heal. Despite the gaping chasms of rough spots, I'm still (and always will be) glad to be his mother. Not sure it made him any better of a person (fingers crossed), but being his mother has helped me be a better person -- stronger, wiser, more perceptive, more compassionate, more grateful.</p><p></p><p>For me, gratitude is the name of the game. It may not change any circumstances, but it will always change my inner landscape for the better.</p><p></p><p>Echo --- I just re-read your post and can see that laughing, pudgy baby you describe so well. Although I'm sorry there were such big issues later (or even then), I'm glad you have that moment. Those moments are precious and sacred...........and FEW.</p><p></p><p>I look at it this way........ On my deathbed, which image would I rather be holding onto? My son's ugly moments or his beautiful moments? I choose the latter............... with boundaries.........BIG boundaries. But I still maintain that the 2 can co-exist. It's not a crime to love. It's a gift. And, likewise, it's not a crime to have BIG boundaries. That's a wisdom.</p><p></p><p>Echo --- I just love how your dream didn't contain any sense of criticism of yourself. How very healthy your inner landscape looks! That's wonderful! Healing AND validating!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 651156, member: 18284"] Echo -- Your post moves me....in many ways. Your dream is definitely a gift. Dream memories, dream possibilities, dream what if's, dream fantasy -- all can be dream healing. Sounds like yours was. It is crazy, isn't it? All that crazy, harsh stuff really did (and still does) happen. However, all that beautiful stuff really did (and may still happen.......in whatever small doses possible) happen. It's ALL real. It's often been so easy for me to have the bad overshadow the good (the bad can be so loud it drowns out all else for a time). Over the years, I find consciously seeking gratitude helps me retain any iota of good I can find (and sometimes I really have to look! LOL!). But, as I believe every life matters, has value, and even has beauty.... I choose to continue to look for the value and beauty in every life. Maybe I'm still naive. But I still believe it's there -- in every single one of us. And that perspective also helps me heal whatever has felt lacerated inside of me. Time, space, boundaries and balance (of perspective) always help me heal. Despite the gaping chasms of rough spots, I'm still (and always will be) glad to be his mother. Not sure it made him any better of a person (fingers crossed), but being his mother has helped me be a better person -- stronger, wiser, more perceptive, more compassionate, more grateful. For me, gratitude is the name of the game. It may not change any circumstances, but it will always change my inner landscape for the better. Echo --- I just re-read your post and can see that laughing, pudgy baby you describe so well. Although I'm sorry there were such big issues later (or even then), I'm glad you have that moment. Those moments are precious and sacred...........and FEW. I look at it this way........ On my deathbed, which image would I rather be holding onto? My son's ugly moments or his beautiful moments? I choose the latter............... with boundaries.........BIG boundaries. But I still maintain that the 2 can co-exist. It's not a crime to love. It's a gift. And, likewise, it's not a crime to have BIG boundaries. That's a wisdom. Echo --- I just love how your dream didn't contain any sense of criticism of yourself. How very healthy your inner landscape looks! That's wonderful! Healing AND validating! [/QUOTE]
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