My 11.5 yr old is being charged with a felony assault

JJJ

Active Member
I'm sorry you are going through this. When I was a BD teacher, our school required us to press charges on any student that attempted to injure us. I was required to press charges twice. The first time, I asked the judge to give the child probation with the requirement that he attend school and do his work. The 2nd time, I had left the school by the time the court date came up so I dropped the charges.

If the school is not requiring that she do this, I would insist on a new aide.
 

LittleDudesMom

Well-Known Member
Michelle,

There are many things I agree with that previous posters have mentioned to you already. One being that you should have his therapist and psychiatrist write letters to the judge. That was one of the first things that popped into my head. Perhaps even see if your health insurance will cover the docs coming to the "trial".

I also like the idea of writing to the judge ahead of time. I thing it would be a great idea to let the judge know what the history is here. This is a child in self-contained for a reason. Academics have nothing to do with behavior (well, in the simplest form, I think you understand). The fact that your son became so agitated, anxious, anger, whatever, that he would strike his 1:1 with such force that she feels the need to press felony charges, kinda clues you into the fact that this situation was not working at school. Make sure the judge knows the physical and mental history of your son as well as your requests to the school for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement in the past.

I wouldn't get so bogged down in the negative "what ifs" as I would putting on the armour and fighting for this little boy (my difficult child is the same age). I know it's easy for me to say this to you as I'm not in your shoes. But I really don't feel that a detention center is where your son will end up at this point. It's not like he has a criminal record and folks lined up to villanize your son. He has a mother that loves him and has/is trying to do what is best for her son. Keep that uppermost in your mind.

No matter how hard things get, your son will be so much worse off if his mom is not in the ring fighting along side him. That's your job honey. Stay in this for him. Without you, what will he do?

Take care of yourself and give your doctor a call. This is an incredibly stressful time for your family. Your son needs his mom and mom needs her son.

You and your son are in my prayers.

Sharon
 

momof4insc

New Member
You NOR the docs can just write a letter to a Judge. It's called Ex Parte and it's a big NO NO. You can get into trouble doing it, if you can even get it past the Judges Secretary. You can write an affidavit and clock it in with the Clerk of Court, along with any letters from docs and psychiatrists. But most docs wont get that involved unless there is a subpeona. Sorry for being negative, but I dont want you to hit a brick wall. just get a copy of all his records, clock them in, then hand them to the Judge. If it's thick like my son's, the Judge will be more understanding towards you. Good Luck and God Bless!!!
 

Liahona

Active Member
Your lawyer can subpeona the docs to write affidavits or send records or appear in court.

I've know aids who have been put in the hospital by kids and they don't press charges. The kid didn't know what he was doing and couldn't stop it. I'm sorry this is happening and hopefully it will result in Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

I hope all you are doing for yourself helps with the thoughts of ending it all.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
We have another ARD today at 1pm. We plan on requesting an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because what they are proposing now is that he stay in that room the whole time he's there. I am thinking I could argue that an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) could provide a less restrictive environment that is safer for my son and whomever might be working with him.

I doubt that they will go for that because when I talked to the director of Special Education, she continued to INSIST that they COULD and WERE meeting his needs??? That because he had been showing academic progress and behvioral progress, there was no need to consider an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I informed her that I would not be able to allow him to return to school unless they could assure me that nobody would press charges if he had another meltdown that resulted in anyone being hurt. She said they couldn't ask someone to sign anything to that effect because it was their right to press charges.

I'm requesting any notes, charting, etc on his behvaior this year because I am flabbergasted at how they can say his behavior has improved. This year has been horrible compared to his last year when he had an amazing teacher and principal.

He has his own classroom and a one on one teacher and a therapist? How is this more cost efficient than placing him in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
You NOR the docs can just write a letter to a Judge. It's called Ex Parte and it's a big NO NO.

EX PARTE - Lat. 'By or for one party' or 'by one side.'

It's only ex parte if you don't send a copy to the other party's attorney/representative. If you do not have an attorney, you may write a letter to the judge so long as you cc the other party. You will need to be sure that you include a case number on the letter. You won't be able to talk to the judge without the other party present. You should send the original letter and all copies by way of certified mail so that you can verify that everyone got what was sent. That being said, it would be much more advisable to have an attorney represent you in this matter.

If you do have an attorney, you could write a letter to the judge, but no one will be allowed to take it's contents into consideration as your attorney is your legal representative so it's not worth your effort.
 

Metvan

New Member
Sending supportive thoughts your way. My post will be quick but
I do have a couple of important thoughts to share. In our system
there is a Manifestation Hearing that takes place when a child
is up for suspension or expel. If that is part of your system I
think you should insist that it take place just to add to your
records. (The Principal, 2 teachers, 2 guidance staff and the
parent gather here for a meeting to ascertain if the action that
took place was purposeful or if it was a manifestation of the
students disability.)

Regarding attorneys...hiring private attorneys does not always
provide the expected benefit. When our son was 14 we hired an
attorney that I had worked with as a volunteer Guardian Ad Litem
some years before. He was caring as well as well qualified BUT
he did not do much in Juvie court with his practice. As a result
he did not have a "daily" working relationship with the attorneys
in the States Attorneys office who worked juvie.

I suggest that you do alot of deep research on attorneys to see
who has deep experience on the issues you are facing. Call the
school board, call the mental health professionals, call NAMI,
call everyone you can think of and ask for referrals.

I'll say a prayer for you and your family today. DDD

Yes the ARD we had yesterday was the manifest hearing. Luckily, I retained an advocate who was able to attend with us at the last minute. THANK GOD! He was such a huge help.

The school's opinion is that the episode was not a manifestation of his disability. They pointed to the fact that he has had many good days at school this year and said that he doesn't choose to hit everyone and can modulate his behavior at times, blah, blah, blah.

I pointed out that it isn't quite that simple. He is coping with several different problems which have affected him his entire life. The processing issues affect how he takes in information, how he uses information that he takes in; understandably, this affects how he LEARNS from past experiences including any behavior modification strategies that might be used. The kid he is right now is a culimination of years of challenges, missed or non-existant educational opportunities (when your kid has a 2 second window in which you might intervene between when he is "fine" and when he has a meltdown, you don't have much of an opportunity to get in there and teach him coping strategies for how to handle a situation and avoid a meltdown). It isn't as simple as "He's had some good days, THEREFORE he CHOOSES to act out in this manner." Like the advocate said "A schizophrenic who hears voices may still choose to stop at a red light, but it doesn't make him any less schizophrenic"

We essentially recessed because we were going straight from the ARD to the hospital to admit him so that they can try to get his medications stabilized. He was actually looking forward to it LOL. I think because we had taken away quite a few perks at home since the incident (pretty much all he can do is watch tv, no playing with friends, no computer, no xbox). We disagreed with the school that the incident was not a manifestation of his disability and indicated that we were not prepared to agree on his placement should he return to school when he gets out of the hospital.

The school doesn't want to send him to alternative school, but does want to keep him completely isolated in one room with the teacher and have him earn back privelidges like going to specials or eating lunch in the cafeteria. I dont know that I want him going back at all. Im too worried about what will happen if he lashes out at another member of staff again.
 

Metvan

New Member
That's mindboggling and scary. This kid has autism!!! My son has the same diagnosis. The aide is supposed to be able to handle him. I can't imagine what she's thinks she's gaining by pressing charges against him. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids tend to be targets for bullying, as they are so naive. Is there a place around for autistic spectrum children? That would be so much better! I'm so sorry.

I don't know. I guess that is something that I could ask, but I don't think that there is. I have no clue what this woman thinks she's going to accomplish unless she wants to punish us. Who knows?

My son is especially naive, I think that is why I am so worried about him going to a juvenile detention center.
 

Lothlorien

Active Member
I wouldn't want him back in the school with a one on one.....isn't that what he just had? So are they baiting him to hit someone again.

How can they make the statement that they don't think that it's a manifestation of his illnes????? Are they licsenced Psychologist/psychiatrists? How are they able to make that determination....that is just a ridiculous and erroneous statement that they don't have the certification to back up.

I'm glad you had the advocate with you. Glad you got him to the hospital.

You are going to get through this. It's gettng better already, right?

Still praying for you.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
I'm so glad that you were able to get an advocate to attend the
meeting with you. Where we live they don't identify what the
Manifestation meeting "is" to the parent...if it hadn't been for
the CD family, I would have walked in and been ambushed!

From following such issues for awhile I think Texas is quite similar to Florida in the juvenile justice area and I very very
strongly doubt that you have to be too concerned about your son
being placed. The chances are good (yes, I know the word good
sound inappropriate) that he will be put on probation with some
attachments that would be doable. Truthfully I don't trust "the
system" but two factors make me feel fairly confident. Number
one is that he has never been in trouble before. Number two is
that "the system" avoids taking juveniles who have proven medical
issues AND require multiple medications. They want to avoid any
liability issues......and bad press.

Perhaps the Advocate can lead you directly to someone who is best
equipped to help you? He/she may know the best attorney for advocacy. He/she may know that NAMI has representatives. Give
it a try.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers. DDD
 

Metvan

New Member
I'm sorry you are going through this. When I was a BD teacher, our school required us to press charges on any student that attempted to injure us. I was required to press charges twice. The first time, I asked the judge to give the child probation with the requirement that he attend school and do his work. The 2nd time, I had left the school by the time the court date came up so I dropped the charges.

If the school is not requiring that she do this, I would insist on a new aide.

I don't think that the school is requiring that she do this because we have had other episodes this past year and they haven't. The teacher herself had told me that she wouldn't have done it, but they can't keep the aide from doing anything.

The lawyer I spoke with yesterday mentioned that they might be able to take some kind of legal action, but I'm not sure what I can say in a public forum at this point.

One thing that DID happen was that they let my son give HIS version of events. My son gave the same version of events; HOWEVER, in his version (told to us immediately following the incident and reiterated for the board yesterday) the aide said something somewhat inappropriate (she had been trying to get him to do something, when he wouldn't do it, she went to pick up a pencil of his. He said "That's MY pencil" and she said "Ha! It's mine now!") He charged her and hit her after she said this to him. While it certainly isn't OK for my son to hit anyone for saying something like that, how appropriate is it for the aide to say something like "HA! Its mine now" to a child that they KNOW has emotional/behavioral problems, etc on a day when THEY admitted he had been up and down all day long. I know my son well enough to know that he didn't make that last bit up. He doesn't really "lie" (yet lol). Sometimes, he will give a false version of events based on his perception (say mom and dad are mean or being rude to his friends becuase we ask them to go home when he gets upset), but he just doesn't make up stuff that people might say like that so I KNOW she said it. Proving it will be another matter, I'm sure.

Anyway, we got him admitted to a local facility so that they can try to get his medications stabilized.
 

rejectedmom

New Member
I wrote a letter to the judge and my attorney gaveit to her and copies to the prosecution at my son's trial. The Lawyer and Da had already agreed on treatment program over jail. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) wanted it court ordered so they would have leverage with my son.
I truly believe that you should get a lawyer for your son. My lawyer worked with my son's therapist and i and the DA and the PO. She was expensive but she did the job. My son threw it all away but that is another story. -RM
 

Metvan

New Member
I wouldn't want him back in the school with a one on one.....isn't that what he just had? So are they baiting him to hit someone again.

How can they make the statement that they don't think that it's a manifestation of his illnes????? Are they licsenced Psychologist/psychiatrists? How are they able to make that determination....that is just a ridiculous and erroneous statement that they don't have the certification to back up.

I'm glad you had the advocate with you. Glad you got him to the hospital.

You are going to get through this. It's gettng better already, right?

Still praying for you.

They brought out the teacher's charting and said "Tanner had 16 out of 20 good days in November, etc) and used that to say that he can control himself and IS learning, etc. We are going to have another neuropsychologist evaluation done and his psychiatrist and therapist thought it was ridiculous for them to say that it wasn't a manifestation of his disability though when he has SO much going on.

Thanks for the prayers xx
 

Metvan

New Member
I'm so glad that you were able to get an advocate to attend the
meeting with you. Where we live they don't identify what the
Manifestation meeting "is" to the parent...if it hadn't been for
the CD family, I would have walked in and been ambushed!

From following such issues for awhile I think Texas is quite similar to Florida in the juvenile justice area and I very very
strongly doubt that you have to be too concerned about your son
being placed. The chances are good (yes, I know the word good
sound inappropriate) that he will be put on probation with some
attachments that would be doable. Truthfully I don't trust "the
system" but two factors make me feel fairly confident. Number
one is that he has never been in trouble before. Number two is
that "the system" avoids taking juveniles who have proven medical
issues AND require multiple medications. They want to avoid any
liability issues......and bad press.

Perhaps the Advocate can lead you directly to someone who is best
equipped to help you? He/she may know the best attorney for advocacy. He/she may know that NAMI has representatives. Give
it a try.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers. DDD

This advocate actually works with an attorney. I spoke with the attorney first regarding the criminal aspect of the case. They have the advocates on staff to help keep costs down and they attend stuff like ARDs, etc. The attorney used to be a social worker who went back to law school at the age of 39 so that kind of makes me feel better, but I want to learn more about how many criminal cases he's actually handled. I just want to make sure that he's comfortable taking on the case. It is all just so overwhelming
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
You seem to be doing an outstanding job of covering the bases.
I'm impressed! Way To Go! DDD
 

Liahona

Active Member
Something a teacher pointed out to me is that a one-on-one aid is a more restrictive setting than a different school without the one-on-one. Don't know if it helps or not.
 

Metvan

New Member
Thanks to everyone for your help and support. We are still sorting all the details out. We have gone with a lawyer recommended by the educational lawyer. The criminal attorney and the educational attorney are going to be working together and the educational attorney is going to assist us in pressing the school for the services he needs. The good news is we are getting both for the price of one. There are some positive things happening for us at the moment, so I'm trying to stay focused on those.

I just honestly do not know what to do though. I really want to homeschool my son, but I worry about whether I can do this. I would still have to work full time and Im just worried about whether or not I can REALLY do it again. Im just so scared to death to put him back in school where he might act out AGAIN adding more fuel to the fire for whenever his trial comes about.
 

Lothlorien

Active Member
Try to find out if there are other schools in the area that are specially geared for children with special needs. Work with the atty on that one. The school district has to give you some alternatives. I don't think that homeschooling is one, you should be considering, especially if you have to work full time. What would you do with him when you aren't working?
 

Mrs.S

New Member
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
we went through something similar, however it was a fight between difficult child and another student.
I hope you can find a good lawyer that you can afford. I was lucky enough to find one with a heart, one who's own child was a difficult child too. You can use this to your advantage. You can have the director of sped subpeanaed (sp??)and everyone else who has been involved in bringing this about.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
I can't find the original post where you were talking about this and said that they say it's not due to his diagnosis because he has good days and bad days. But -huh? It's not like having a mole on your chin - "it's either there or it's not"! That's the nature of the illness. Some days are good, and some are bad. Some are in between. Sheesh!

If they think that there have been changes based upon his overall behavior during the school year, ask if they would like to pay for a full re-evaluation!

Harumph!
 
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