I am a new member. I have a 17 year old son with ADHD. Doctors have told my wife that he has Aspergers. The last 6 years or so has been a real struggle. He is defiant about doing anything he is asked. He spends most of his time in front of his computer. He wont go to bed when he's told and will get physical if my wife or I try and take his computer away. He had a laptop but bought himself a easy child with money her earned working over the summer. Our lives are a mess. We have 4 other boys ranging in ages 15 down to 3. It's not all my 17 year olds fault, but a good percentage is caused by his behavior. He's been to counseling and family counseling, but nothing works. I think he should go to school that can work with him. My wife, a S.P.E.D. teacher, says otherwise. My wife and I have a different philosophy on parenting. So far it's been all her way. My 15 year old is defiant, but will for the most part do as he is told. My 13 year old is a good kid who is active and (seems) happy. The same for my 8 year old. The 3 year old sees how things work in the house and I'm afraid will turn into his oldest brother. My 17 year old is extremely smart. He is wasting his life away. As a junior in High School, he skips school and never does his homework. Yet he still passes on to the next grade. I feel like my family is beyond dysfunctional and I feel like I need to move out to keep my sanity. Am I a quitter? Every day is a nightmare. We lost our house over a year ago and live in a rental house paying more for rent than we were paying for a mortgage. I've tried counseling and stopped going when the family didn't want to keep going to family counseling. Does anyone have advice? I was a good father once. But I'm now a complete failure just going thru the motions.