My 17 yr old outta control

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by H2ofrontwoman13, Jun 10, 2011.

  1. H2ofrontwoman13

    H2ofrontwoman13 New Member

    New here and not a good writter so please bare with me I feel so alone and so grateful to find this forum. My difficult child is going to be 17 next week, things have been going bad for awhile. He hasn't always been a difficult kid but it has progressed to complete havoc . Little history on us difficult child and I had always lived with my mom as I was a single parent working trying to go to school to prepare a better life for us. My mom fell sick so after I got a full time job was unable to move out, so she raised my son with me. She alwys made excuse for his behavior as well as other people so he has nev been made accountable. So she passed awY 5 years ago and things have spiraled outta control since. We have done counseling seen psyche he had to go to a treatment facility they diagnosis him but him on all kinds of medications then put him on Marinoal and then suggest medication marijuana. I fight against it all. Then finally give in because 3 different dr have suggested the same thing. He refuse to follow rules he puts holes in my walls threatens me I call cops they say they can't do anything I'm at a complete loss there is a whole lot it would be a boom to try and write but the stuff these dr.s are trying to do isn't working I. My opinion it is just give g this kid a right to be high I feel like a hostage in my own home I'm afraid to work I've taken away cell phones ect. He never has been as outa control as he has been. In the let week with the cussing me out threats ect... If I kick hi. Out I was a told I could be in trouble legally but the sheriffs won't take him for damaging my home or threading me he needs to commit a crime. I'm just seeking advice if anyone h been through this.
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Hi there, *hugs* hon. Can I ask why they suggest Marinol? Seems a very odd choice for this.
  3. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Hello, welcome and a big hug. I'm sorry you are going through these trials. You are not alone here. My daughter is 16 and we have had 2 and 1/2 years of hell. She too was a normal child until puberty. She suffered some horrible abuses as a young child which we were not aware of until we were forced to put her in residential treatment. Since then she is again in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Because we were out of money we had to call the cops on every little thing and hope she did something illegal. They hated us for "wasting" their time. But we had called every other public agency begging for help and got nothing to keep her safe. We were finially able to get before a judge and get her where she is. It has been an aweful journey and public agencies are hard to work with. She is alive however.

    If your boy is abusive physically you should be able to press assault charges.( This is hard, but unless you do, you will not get before a judge). When you come before the judge or see the intake PO, you can ask them for help. We actually consulted a lawyer and called NAMI to get an advocate. From what I have read from other parents, the juvenile justice system in many states are not often forthcoming with resources and often want to try low level interventions at first. You will need to research and find out what you want for him. I would start with the public mental health organization in your area. The state often contracts with them for services. I would also keep notes on everything-truent dates, calls to police and their badge numbers, abusive conversations, etc. This was very helpful for treatment and court for us.
    I wonder how much your boy might still be grieving the loss of your mother? Sometimes it takes years for kids to really understand and do this. Despite the fact that she was an enabler, she was very important to him.

    It would be helpful if you created a signature which helps us know your child's diagnosis and medications. You can do this by clicking on my profile at the top of the page.

    Please tell us more and keep us posted. Hugs to you!
  4. H2ofrontwoman13

    H2ofrontwoman13 New Member

    Tey tried all kinds of medications and nothing worked he convinced them that smoking weed helped him so they gave him the pills then offered medical card for it
  5. H2ofrontwoman13

    H2ofrontwoman13 New Member

    I can't figure out the sig thing but when he was in treatment they said he was add odd bipolar had him on all kinds of medications he is more an missing my mom he was abandoned by father and then father that raised him abused him which I didn't find out till he was in treatment the last 2 weeks have been awful, I will try a lawyer cause cops won't do anything
  6. keista

    keista New Member

    Top right of any thread page there is a link for Settings. Once you click on that look on the left hand side of the page, about halfway down. You'll find "edit Signature" there.
  7. mrsammler

    mrsammler Guest

    My sister was in a very similar situation in NC in '09: 17 yr old son, diagnosed with ODD , had been behaving terribly since 13 or so (well, he was a spoiled, selfish, unruly brat since early childhood--he had never been held to any accountability by parents, like your son), and had begun to use violence, and the threat of it, to essentially do whatever he pleased around the house--pretty much the reign of terror that you describe. And NC is like your state: there is very little help for parents of a kid like this.

    In NC, if someone is a threat to himself or others, you can the police take him away for a 72-hour psychiatric evaluation. That gets you free of him for 3 days, and when he returns you can tell him that you'll do it again at the next instance of violence or the threat of it--and then go ahead and do it again. It sends a message: I may not be able to physically withstand you, but I'll have you carted away for 3 days over and over and over again. You should call your local sheriff's office, describe your situation, and find out what they can do. I find it hard to believe that you can't have the police intervene if your son is being violent toward you and/or your property--that's what state reformatories are for--i.e., unruly kids who commit criminal acts.

    Do you have a brother, uncle, cousin or trusted male friend who can come over and lay into him? That's another way of regaining control of your household and your life--but only if the adult male friend can back you up firmly and consistently, not just for one visit.