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Substance Abuse
my 18 year old has been smoking pot since he was 14 and it has taken control of him
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 629349" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well...even though I'm sure pot will be legal everywhere soon, that doesn't mean our adult children should abuse it. Alcohol is legal too and how many people die from alcohol complications?</p><p></p><p>This is what hubby and I enforce: Our house, our sanctuary (Love that word, forgot who said it, but I love it). In our sanctuary, if you want to come in, we welcome you with open arms, but we do have some boundaries we set to make our sanctuary comfortable for us. First of all, nobody is allowed to smoke in our house. You have to go outside. This is not open for discussion. Husband quit smoking and smelling any smoke is hard for him and for me I just loathe the smell, taste and the way it makes the entire house smell. So if you come in you don't smoke. That will include pot. If it becomes legal, go out to your car. Otherwise, go home.</p><p></p><p>We have no alcohol since we don't drink. If you want to bring a bottle of wine or beer, you can drink here, but you can not stay if you get loud, obnoxious and drunk. That is also non-negotiable.</p><p></p><p>These rules apply to our grown children too. Say they wanted to live in our house (or apartment) because times got tough. Fine, but our house, our rules.</p><p></p><p>Does he plan on going to college? If so, are you paying for it? Do you pay for his car? His internet use? His cell phone? You can always just tell him calmly that if he disregards your rules, his life is going to become harder because he will have to support himself.</p><p></p><p>I am unique I think that I would probably never pay to send a kid to college away from home if he was showing signs of substance abuse because it doesn't get better in college dorms. I'd pay for local, live-at-home college for an irresponsible but bright kid. It's too expensive to pay for dorms just for our kids to have an unsupervised playland. Yes, they can hang with bad people at home too, but at least it won't cost so much. Again, I don't think I have much support here, but I really believe it's a good idea if the adult child is going in the wrong direction.</p><p></p><p>Arguments with our difficult children are in my opinion pointless. They twist our words and our desires and ideas don't seem to matter to them. It's all about them and what they WANT to do, sort of like little kids. But they are not little kids and they need to grow up and respect others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 629349, member: 1550"] Well...even though I'm sure pot will be legal everywhere soon, that doesn't mean our adult children should abuse it. Alcohol is legal too and how many people die from alcohol complications? This is what hubby and I enforce: Our house, our sanctuary (Love that word, forgot who said it, but I love it). In our sanctuary, if you want to come in, we welcome you with open arms, but we do have some boundaries we set to make our sanctuary comfortable for us. First of all, nobody is allowed to smoke in our house. You have to go outside. This is not open for discussion. Husband quit smoking and smelling any smoke is hard for him and for me I just loathe the smell, taste and the way it makes the entire house smell. So if you come in you don't smoke. That will include pot. If it becomes legal, go out to your car. Otherwise, go home. We have no alcohol since we don't drink. If you want to bring a bottle of wine or beer, you can drink here, but you can not stay if you get loud, obnoxious and drunk. That is also non-negotiable. These rules apply to our grown children too. Say they wanted to live in our house (or apartment) because times got tough. Fine, but our house, our rules. Does he plan on going to college? If so, are you paying for it? Do you pay for his car? His internet use? His cell phone? You can always just tell him calmly that if he disregards your rules, his life is going to become harder because he will have to support himself. I am unique I think that I would probably never pay to send a kid to college away from home if he was showing signs of substance abuse because it doesn't get better in college dorms. I'd pay for local, live-at-home college for an irresponsible but bright kid. It's too expensive to pay for dorms just for our kids to have an unsupervised playland. Yes, they can hang with bad people at home too, but at least it won't cost so much. Again, I don't think I have much support here, but I really believe it's a good idea if the adult child is going in the wrong direction. Arguments with our difficult children are in my opinion pointless. They twist our words and our desires and ideas don't seem to matter to them. It's all about them and what they WANT to do, sort of like little kids. But they are not little kids and they need to grow up and respect others. [/QUOTE]
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my 18 year old has been smoking pot since he was 14 and it has taken control of him
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