I am glad i came across this forum by reading another member's 'wavering' i believe is her id name. I read so many stories that are so similiar to my own and gives me some comfort knowing i am not the only parent going thru a very diffiult time. My son suffers from depression, adhd, anxiety disorder. At 18 i gave him an ultimatum to either get the help he needs, go to school or get a job...he refused to do any of these and instead became practically an agoraphobic refusing to leave his basement, play video games all day long, stay up all night long binging on food etc., barely sleeping, stealing my credit cards to purchase video game points etc. etc. Well after one partically horrible nite (Feb. 2014), he started getting violent, breaking things, and i was fearful he was going to hit me...his is 6 feet 2 inches, over 230 lbs and very strong. I told him to leave....he pleaded, but i held my position. I don't know how i found the strength...... He went to a shelter and looking back this was the hardest thing i could ever do but my health was suffering - was getting nightly panic attacks, high blood pressure to the point i feared i would wake up dead one day. I knew i had to make a change and fast! He went to a shelter where they placed him in a youth residential program which would teach him life skills while finishing high school, get a job etc. This program was a blessing and although it was hard it seems to really help him as i had done all i could at that point. He was taking medication and seemed 'stable'. THEN EVERYTHING CHANGED! His father passed away at age 53 from a heart attack. We were divorced when my son was 4 but maintained a good relationship with his dad until he remarried. At 16 he decided he no longer wanted a relationshiip with his dad or to visit him and his new wife. The death of his dad was hard on him and had alot of guilt on how he hadn't kept in touch or answered his calls when he reached out to him. My ex suffered from depression also, but never got help and instead self medicated with 'food'. He was 425 lbs when he died, 6 feet tall. It was sad all around. In june of this year 2015, my son who is now 19 decided to stop taking his medications as he was feelling 'better'. He got sick and ended up taking him to emergency. He decided to start on new medications as he hated the side effects of this medications before he was taking. His psychiatrist was on vacation and he started seeing a new one. The medications were not working and i could see he was getting depressed again, violent outbursts, unstable moods bipolar tendency....very happy and then depressed. So finally yesterday i encouraed him to see our family doctor to assess his medications and luckily we had a script his old psychiatric wrote (who stopped seeing him as he was over 18). My son looked so depressed. So by the grace of god he got his medications filled. He is getting a new psychiatrist referral but i am so fearful he will stop taking his medications again. He is planning to move out of the residencein December which terrifies me....hopefully he will have a roomate. iI worry about him nite andf day and keept checking his phone logs to make sure hie is alive.............i told him yesterday this is my last time and it is up to him to take his medications and not stop when he feels better. How do i detach to make him step up to take control of his mental health?