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my 19yr old daughter makes terrible choices and I'm afraid for her safety
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674279" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi AWS</p><p></p><p>I agree with the other posters. She has no business drawing your mother with her into her dangerous choices. I would level with my mother and I would tell my daughter straight off. Get your mess away from my mother.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter seems to not take responsibility for her choices, and you too, seem to see her as a victim of others' bad choices: the coach letting questionable kids in, carrying the knife to school, getting jumped, etc.</p><p></p><p>The reality seems to be otherwise: She seems to seek out trouble. You know the saying about that.</p><p></p><p>I do not see what your leverage is with her. She is an adult in the eyes of the law. She is self-sufficient except for living with your Mom.</p><p></p><p>I would think seriously about New Leaf's counsel to call the hotline.</p><p></p><p>The thing about the gossip is this: A lot of may be untrue. But bad things you do not know about could be happening, too. With the 3 guys. I would worry about sexual pressure on her. I am trying to speak in euphemisms here. There are a lot of reasons to make that call. Some of them, you may not know.</p><p></p><p>You will at least know that you have done everything you can do.</p><p></p><p>I did really crazy things for a time in my youth. Nobody in my family knew. I outgrew it. I was working and taking care of myself.</p><p></p><p>Eventually I wised up. Either she will or she won't. I think she will. She sounds like a smart girl who is walking on the wild side. It will play itself out. Let us pray she comes out of it unscathed. I pretty much did.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, we are glad you are here. All of us have been through something similar with our children. You will receive a great deal of support and good counsel here. We care about you.</p><p></p><p>This is the time now to take care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>You are not responsible for her bad choices. There is no reason for shame. It is not your fault. Past a certain point we do not have control.</p><p></p><p>She will learn.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674279, member: 18958"] Hi AWS I agree with the other posters. She has no business drawing your mother with her into her dangerous choices. I would level with my mother and I would tell my daughter straight off. Get your mess away from my mother. Your daughter seems to not take responsibility for her choices, and you too, seem to see her as a victim of others' bad choices: the coach letting questionable kids in, carrying the knife to school, getting jumped, etc. The reality seems to be otherwise: She seems to seek out trouble. You know the saying about that. I do not see what your leverage is with her. She is an adult in the eyes of the law. She is self-sufficient except for living with your Mom. I would think seriously about New Leaf's counsel to call the hotline. The thing about the gossip is this: A lot of may be untrue. But bad things you do not know about could be happening, too. With the 3 guys. I would worry about sexual pressure on her. I am trying to speak in euphemisms here. There are a lot of reasons to make that call. Some of them, you may not know. You will at least know that you have done everything you can do. I did really crazy things for a time in my youth. Nobody in my family knew. I outgrew it. I was working and taking care of myself. Eventually I wised up. Either she will or she won't. I think she will. She sounds like a smart girl who is walking on the wild side. It will play itself out. Let us pray she comes out of it unscathed. I pretty much did. Meanwhile, we are glad you are here. All of us have been through something similar with our children. You will receive a great deal of support and good counsel here. We care about you. This is the time now to take care of yourself. You are not responsible for her bad choices. There is no reason for shame. It is not your fault. Past a certain point we do not have control. She will learn. COPA [/QUOTE]
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my 19yr old daughter makes terrible choices and I'm afraid for her safety
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