Hello, I am hoping to get some advice as I am at my wit's end and in a state of depression myself over this. I'll try to make this as short as possible. My 20 yr old became severely depressed about two years ago when he left for college. He did not do well in classes and we could all tell something was not right. One day he completely disappeared, leaving phone and identification behind. He was gone for 2 days on the streets of Philadephia. We made missing person posters and he was even on the local news as a missing college student. I thought I would die from worrying and of course thought the worst. He finally showed up, disheveled and dirty from living on the streets. He never, to this day, explained where he went or why he took off. That was almost 2 years ago, when we realized the extent of his depression. He came home to live with me and his 10 yr old little brother (I'm a single mother). We thought taking a break from school and being with me and his family (we are all very close) would help. He stayed with me for 6 months. In that time, we saw a therapist and was prescribed prozac. He ended up throwing them away as he didn't want to depend on "big pharma". He seemed to get better (or acted like it) and said he was ready to go back to Philadelphia. I should add his dad's family lives there, he was living with them. In the next 6-8 months he deterierated even worse. He would call occasionally and he sounded so defeated. I begged him to come home and he would not. Fast forward a few more months, I get a call from his dad that he is admitting him into a mental rehab clinic because he tried to end his life by taking a bottle of pills. I was absolutely besides myself. My son later said he was not trying to kill himself, he was just "being stupid" and to his credit, he did call his dad for help after he had taken them. In a strange way, i was relieved because I thought this was just a cry for help. He only ended up staying in the clinic for 3 days, he was able to just sign himself out by saying he was better and agreeing to take anti-depressants they gave him. Of course he was not better. I made plans to fly him home here with me and he's been with me now since August of 2013. It has been a living nightmare. He's tried a therapist, different anti-depressants, never sticks with them for even 4 weeks, says he can't be around people, hates to even be around me and his little brother, which he hates feeling that way, he has told me that he has given up completely on life, that this is it. He refuses to go back to the therapist, he had a great job lined up that an uncle was able to find for him and all he had to do was show up for a 4 hr safety training, and he couldn't do it. He had to walk out because he said he couldn't handle it. My parents brought him a paid off car, he got insurance which I paid the first month's premium and he agreed to begin taking care of it when he starts work. Now he refuses to even go back to the employer to try again. They are calling and calling him and he will not answer them. He says he would have failed anyway. I was at my wit's end and at the advice of my family and friends decided to try tough love (which I never have). I was always catering to his sensitive mental state and feared pushing him over the edge. But I had to try it, I've tried loving and supporting and beint patient and ignoring, hoping he would snap out of it and want to start treatment again. So I finally just told him that he had 2 weeks to find a job and an apartment of his own. This job would pay for more than enough for him to care for himself - he just needed to go to it! He was already hired. Unfortunately he took it as me wanting him to just not be there anymore. I tried to tell him that I love him so much and I'm trying everything to motivate him. I have a younger son and I'm losing my mind and angry and crying all the time over my older son's mental state. So now he's saying he'll be out tomorrow. He has no plan, no means to care for himself, it was 28 degrees here yesterday, I took the keys to his car away and hid them fearing he would take off. I know he plans to just go away and who knows what. He said his life is over, he doesn't see the point of anything anymore. What can I do?! Am I supposed to sit ouside his bedroom door like a jailor and make sure he doesn't escape? I have a full-time job and a little boy that needs me to keep it together. This has devastated my entire family, as this is a completely different child that we all knew. He was always the most popular outgoing kid in school, now he talks to no one, never keeps in touch with old friends, is in his room day and night, doesn't shower or eat anymore. He is like an invalid living in my home. I feel like God is punishing me for something I don't know.