I have 21 yr. old son. We found out he started smoking pot in his senior year in high school. I think he wasn't smoking consistently at the time. He went away to different state for college, on his 2nd semester we found out he was on academic probation but he wasn't able to bring up his GPA to get out of it. He came back home, transferred to Jr. college did ok for that first semester back with 3 B's and 2 A's. We expect him to transfer to in-state university as a junior even though he'll be about an year behind. He applied for this fall.. for 2rd and 3rd semester he showed us his all A grades. I just found out he's been on academic probation again for last 2 semesters out of 3 semesters he's been home. Problem 1: my husband expects and pushes him so hard to go to medical school where I see he's not the kid. He went along with him all along because he doesnt have the personality to fight him back like his younger brother. Then he pulls this kind of totally out of range behavior like showing us fake grades. I have hard time talking to my husband to let them be who they want to be. You just can't expect all your kids to be doctors and lawyers. I know he means well but I have to agree he's bit out of line too. Problem 2: I understand my son's under pressure but not all the kids who's under pressure behaves this way not thinking about the consequences when truth come out. Not only that, I gave him my benefit of doubt that he should be able to stop smoking pot on his will as he told me he's not depended on it. I think he did smoke pot once a week when it's a lot, drove around high ( fortunately never been pulled over yet), went to class after smoking pot, I believe bottom of his problem is smoking pot and he can't contain his grades. I need to start some where to fix this issue, I know i have to tell my husband and really try to talk to him about his wrong expectations and he really need to let him be who he is, at the same time we have to take him to counselor which my husband is very opposed to do so when we first found out he was smoking pot. He doesn't believe counseling will do anything for him... My son wants me not to tell his dad and give him a semester to make up his grade promising me he will stop smoking pot too. But I gave him a whole year,I've been struggling with him behind my husband about him smoking pot, he took me for granted as long as his dad doesnt know, he's ok to do so I don't want to continue this anymore. I decided I needed to talk to my husband wether he accepts his son as who he is or not, we need to get him help and start fresh. Ironically my son wants to finish his college somehow ... I think I know what I should do, at the same time I'm really not sure what would be the best way to deal with this whole situation. Smoking pot is a issue too but I'm having hard time to understand how he even thought about showing us fake grades and played along like he really got all A's, even applying to transfer with his probation GPA.. I don't know how to take him at all at this point.