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Substance Abuse
My 29 year old son is homeless and addicted, and 700 miles from me...
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 674700" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Hello and welcome to the SA forum. You have found a place where we totally understand your fear and guilt. If you gut is saying that your son is using drugs, you are probably right. I have found my gut feelings are usually correct.</p><p></p><p>This will be hard to hear but sending him any money is buying him drugs. The first time my therapist said that it really took me back but I realized that she is right. Even doing something like paying directly for rent just lets them use the money that they would have had to spend on that for drugs instead.</p><p></p><p>I see that your son is 29-years-old. That is an adult by any stretch of the imagination. Not even a young adult. The only thing you can do at this point is suggest that he go to rehab and a halfway house and let it go. I learned the hard way that I can't "fix" my daughter and that she has to want to lead a sober life in order to change.</p><p></p><p>All you can do is focus on your life. You said that it is flourishing. That is because of the choices you made. Your son has the same chance for a successful life but must make good choices, too. I know it is hard to let go of the guilt and I found private therapy really helped my husband and myself. Others find support groups like AlAnon or NarAnon an invaluable source of support. Families Anonymous is another group that many members have found helpful.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting here in SA. We will be here with advice and support. Only others that have dealt with a substance abusing loved one can truly understand what you are going through.</p><p></p><p>{{{Hugs}}}</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 674700, member: 1967"] Hello and welcome to the SA forum. You have found a place where we totally understand your fear and guilt. If you gut is saying that your son is using drugs, you are probably right. I have found my gut feelings are usually correct. This will be hard to hear but sending him any money is buying him drugs. The first time my therapist said that it really took me back but I realized that she is right. Even doing something like paying directly for rent just lets them use the money that they would have had to spend on that for drugs instead. I see that your son is 29-years-old. That is an adult by any stretch of the imagination. Not even a young adult. The only thing you can do at this point is suggest that he go to rehab and a halfway house and let it go. I learned the hard way that I can't "fix" my daughter and that she has to want to lead a sober life in order to change. All you can do is focus on your life. You said that it is flourishing. That is because of the choices you made. Your son has the same chance for a successful life but must make good choices, too. I know it is hard to let go of the guilt and I found private therapy really helped my husband and myself. Others find support groups like AlAnon or NarAnon an invaluable source of support. Families Anonymous is another group that many members have found helpful. Keep posting here in SA. We will be here with advice and support. Only others that have dealt with a substance abusing loved one can truly understand what you are going through. {{{Hugs}}} ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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My 29 year old son is homeless and addicted, and 700 miles from me...
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