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Substance Abuse
My 29 year old son is homeless and addicted, and 700 miles from me...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 674711" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Hi Pam and welcome. I am very sorry that you are facing this, so many of us have and we understand your pain. I don't judge you for sending him money. If this was the first time he called and asked then I would have done the same thing I am sure. It took me a long time to understand addiction and enabling.</p><p></p><p>You asked for some direction so here goes. I don't know if your son is agreeable to getting help. If you believe he may be or even if he isn't now but may int he future, my suggestion is that you start researching places that will help him. When I was faced with this I started making phone calls to everyone I thought cold help, hospitals, addiction treatment centers, social service agencies, others who have faced the same problem in their families. I came up with a list of places that could help. Some took insurance, many others did not require any insurance or payment. </p><p></p><p>In our state we have many homes called sober houses, also known as halfway houses. They are run by former addicts and they allow the person to live there while going through their recovery program and eventually working and entering society again. You won't necessarily know them unless you start networking in his area, they are not widely advertised. We actually have a list in our area of many places that help addicts. Again by calling treatment centers in his area you may find many resources that were unknown before. </p><p></p><p>Do you know what drugs he is taking? Is he homeless? Does he have a support network where he lives? How willing are you to help him find help, even if he rejects it at first. Many of us have helped our addicts find resources, pointed them int he right direction, and moved heaven and earth to get them accepted, and then stepped out of the way of their recovery. Kathy813 above is a great example of this. What she has done to help her daughter find resources is remarkable, yet she puts her recovery on her daughter's shoulders where it belongs. And she is not in the same area as her daughter but has been able to find help long distance. Many times our addicts have no idea where to go for help and that's where we come in.</p><p></p><p>I spent a great deal of time learning about the addiction recovery process. It was what I could live with. Only do what you are comfortable with but for me I needed to have resources to give to my daughter, the rest was up to her. When she called my crying and begging to come home I was able to say no but here is where you can go. I don't know the history of your son so I don't know how far you want to intervene, but one thing is for sure, just sending him money will only prolong his drug use. You know he will use it for more drugs.</p><p></p><p>Let us know what happens. We care about you and your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 674711, member: 59"] Hi Pam and welcome. I am very sorry that you are facing this, so many of us have and we understand your pain. I don't judge you for sending him money. If this was the first time he called and asked then I would have done the same thing I am sure. It took me a long time to understand addiction and enabling. You asked for some direction so here goes. I don't know if your son is agreeable to getting help. If you believe he may be or even if he isn't now but may int he future, my suggestion is that you start researching places that will help him. When I was faced with this I started making phone calls to everyone I thought cold help, hospitals, addiction treatment centers, social service agencies, others who have faced the same problem in their families. I came up with a list of places that could help. Some took insurance, many others did not require any insurance or payment. In our state we have many homes called sober houses, also known as halfway houses. They are run by former addicts and they allow the person to live there while going through their recovery program and eventually working and entering society again. You won't necessarily know them unless you start networking in his area, they are not widely advertised. We actually have a list in our area of many places that help addicts. Again by calling treatment centers in his area you may find many resources that were unknown before. Do you know what drugs he is taking? Is he homeless? Does he have a support network where he lives? How willing are you to help him find help, even if he rejects it at first. Many of us have helped our addicts find resources, pointed them int he right direction, and moved heaven and earth to get them accepted, and then stepped out of the way of their recovery. Kathy813 above is a great example of this. What she has done to help her daughter find resources is remarkable, yet she puts her recovery on her daughter's shoulders where it belongs. And she is not in the same area as her daughter but has been able to find help long distance. Many times our addicts have no idea where to go for help and that's where we come in. I spent a great deal of time learning about the addiction recovery process. It was what I could live with. Only do what you are comfortable with but for me I needed to have resources to give to my daughter, the rest was up to her. When she called my crying and begging to come home I was able to say no but here is where you can go. I don't know the history of your son so I don't know how far you want to intervene, but one thing is for sure, just sending him money will only prolong his drug use. You know he will use it for more drugs. Let us know what happens. We care about you and your son. [/QUOTE]
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My 29 year old son is homeless and addicted, and 700 miles from me...
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