My 4 year old is out of control, he was kicked out of kinder

[Monica Barosse]

Hello to all,

Im new here, I really hope someone can relate to me because i truly have never seen a kid behave as bad as my 4 year old son, he is very manipulative, he wont listen to anything I say, he yells at me, hits me (in public or anywhere it doesnt matter), he wont listen to any basic rules like eating on time, going to bed on time, brushing his teeth, taking a bath its a battle to get him to do anything the majority of the time he also tends to run away from me when ever we go out to public places and i have to chase him because he will not stop he is even capable of running into the street when cars are passing so im worried for his own safety at this point.

I have put him in daycare's and they have kicked him out and recently he started a summer course because he will be starting kinder soon and he already got kicked out he was misbehaving since day 1 , hitting the teacher and his classmates, yelling, offending and not doing anything the teacher says.. His teacher has already recommended another school because they no longer want him to assist to that school. Im so stressed out I dont know what to do ive tried everything, raising my voice at times, talking to him, taking away toys, time out.. and nothing works. I feel like this is affecting my whole life and its a problem that i cant get off my mind and it worries me that something bad could happen to my son in the future when is older if he continues with this rebellious behavior i love him so much i just want him to do good that would make me so happy.

 

[BusynMember]

I am so very sorry but there are things you can choose to do to help. I think first and foremost you need to take him for a total, intensive pediatric evaluation by a team of psychologistsg at a hospital clinic. A neuropsychologist (psychologist with extra training in the brain) did eonfers for my son. Ten hours of testing in all areas of function.

Son is obviously different from other kids. I know this hurts...but you know it. Nobody can help him change his behavior without knowing what is wrong. His DNA is not going away and can be a big clue. Was he adopted? Dad have issues? Abused by anyone? Autism on either side of the family genetics?

It is your choice to try to see what is going on. It can make a world of difference. Dont be afraid to hear more than one opinion and to try different things to see what helps. It would be very hard to try to do it alone, with no professional feedback. Discipline probably will not do the trick...he probably cant help his behavior. At any rate it is worth looking for answers.

 

[karisma]

Hi, I am sorry for your pain. I had a very out of control little boy also. He was kicked out of every school and care center he was in for violent behavior and disruption to the class.

It was very difficult and I definitely relate.

In my Difficult Child's case, he was diagnosed as bipolar. His biological father was also bipolar, a fact I did not know or understand at 20 years old.

Can you get an evaluation for him?

I know its exhausting and exasperating dealing with these issues with a small child. My heart goes out to you.

 

[Crayola13]

When did this behavior start?

 

[BusynMember]

If that's your name or real picture, it's probably a good idea to change it to be safe.

 

[Wiped Out]

Welcome Monica,
I have to echo what SWOT said-if that is your real name and picture you will want to change your username and picture for anonymity reasons.

As I hear you talk about your son he reminds me so much of my son at that age. I even remember him running into traffic. He was hit, punch, kick others and we would have to chase him because he would run off in a grocery store or wherever we were. He wouldn't listen if his life depended on it. As I think about that, it was more like he couldn't listen.

We had him seeing a psychiatrist when he was four. By the time he was seven he was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. For him it turned out to be a correct diagnosis and now many years later and medication trials, therapy, etc... he is doing so much better.

I will never forget how exhausted I was and how worried for my son I was. It's so important during all of this that you find some time to yourself. I know that is easier said than done.

Again, welcome...glad you found our little corner of the world but sorry you needed to.

 

[kim75062]

Welcome monica!

you have come to a good place with a lot of caring and helpful people. Most of us have been in your shoes (or close to it) and can understand how you are feeling.

My son is 6 and was everything your son is now at 4 except his problems where only when he was away from familiar people and places. Hes been kicked out of kinder and 1st grade. I have to say that the running off part was the scariest out of everything that he could of done. I would of rather him standing there punching me over and over then to have that constant on edge feeling waiting for him to bolt so I could catch him. Its probably the worst gut wrenching heart dropping feeling ever to know that your child could be in danger and you don't know if you can "save" them.

There is light at the end of the tunnel! mine has gave up on running off (thank god!) and is what I would consider now to have typical spoiled brat behavior. im not saying he is magically cured of his neuro differences by any means, I still don't even know what they all are. I am saying that after a VERY long road I see him in a different way and have a much better understanding of how he "works".

Please take everyone's advice on seeing a neuropsy. they seem to be the go to in the field for any unknown cause behavior issues with children. A lot of people here have had great success with them. Any good doctor generally takes a while to get into and neuropsys take forever. I took mine to one, and she was useless but that's not the norm. There's plenty more out there that I'm sure are much better at what they do.