Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
My 40 year Old Daughter stole 10's of Thousands from me - what I did and where I am now
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 635219" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>PART 2: Daughter stole 10's of Thousands from me - what I did and where I am now. </p><p></p><p>When I found out that my daughter had stolen from me I was very hurt, enraged, let me just say emotionally devastated. If one can have an emotional breakdown at home I had one. I could no longer live in denial. </p><p>I blocked all my numbers, email, Facebook etc. I wanted nothing to do with her. I think my tipping point came when everything fell apart and my husband called her, as instructed by her, to see when she was going to pay the money for yet another tax bill we were being taxed for, for money she took and directed the CPA to report it as our income. She had told my husband to call her after he figured out the recent "mistake" and she would return the money. Instead she blasted him with every foul curse word she could hiss at him and told him to F**k off. I had taken that kind of emotional abuse for years because I am the mother - but my husband (her step-father) is a kind and wonderful man and had never done anything to her, he had always been kind and generous to her and only wanted the best for her. I could take a stand for him when I wasn't able to take a stand for myself. </p><p></p><p>After my "breakdown" I started the long journey towards discovering that my daughter is what I call a sociopath. I say that because she has not been formally diagnosed, however, she HIGHLY fits the profile.</p><p>If it walks like a duck, quacks like one..............................</p><p></p><p>I went into therapy to help me to deal. I need to add here, after we had started the business I busied my time taking care of my sister who was developmentally delayed. She became the daughter I could nurture and not get hurt by. Because of my own disabilities she did not live with me but I was very active in her life, even becoming her legal guardian. This was one person in my life who deserved my nurturing, my love, care and attention. Our relationship kept me going because I could re-focus my attention, not on what someone was doing to hurt me but what I could do to help my sister. She became my daughter.</p><p></p><p>I maintained strictly NO CONTACT for over 4 years.</p><p></p><p>Fast forward and I was blindsided by the death of my beloved sister by a severe seizure. The pain of losing her was excruciating and again I found myself emotionally in a pit of despair. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how, but somehow, my daughter wiggled her way back into my life. Maybe because I was so emotionally weak after losing my sister - which as most of you know is when sociopaths pounce.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, we spent the last year on fairly friendly but neutral turf. I, however never brought up the money she had stolen from me - and she has tried all kinds of manipulative things to get me to "react". But I am now too educated and healed to fall into her traps again - so when would see the manipulation coming I would just talk around whatever point she was trying to get to. I knew bringing up the money would just mean an explosion on her part. Still something in the past few weeks has made me want to confront the issue. Most likely because I have had intuitive feelings about her, her actions of being fairly bland towards my husband, I am getting sicker, and she figures it is only a matter of time before my husband dies (he is healthy and has no issues currently besides age) and then she can move in on me and our money. </p><p></p><p>During the time we have been "talking", with me being sick, she has brought up how she will take care of me when I am older. Which in my head sounds like this "I bet you will, right until you spend ever cent I have"</p><p>So I always say no I am wanting to make my own plans. So this week she finally asked me why I don't trust her to "take care" of me and I told her and HOLY EXPLOSIONS - what a liar I am LOL. "How can I be so mean, cruel and ugly to accuse her of being the kind of daughter that steals from her mother???" Well the kind that has physical paperwork to prove it is my answer, oh and a lawyers bill to boot. A lot of F U's and F**k Off's. And I especially love this part " I am not to contact her again until I am ready to apologize to her for my accusing her of stealing from her" ending with a F**K Off.</p><p></p><p>Really?? Same person who was going to throw "the best mother in the world the greatest birthday ever" - we went out to eat at a diner and my husband paid. Or "we have been apart for so long this Mothers Day is going to be your best ever" only to be followed up with a typed "loving" letter (puke, puke") and a half bag of Dove chocolates??? How when she said she wanted to 'cuddle with me" I am sorry to say but after the hell I have been through, feeling extremely guilty for feeling it I felt repulsed when she would say it.</p><p></p><p>I have gotten to a place where I don't trust anyone anymore. I find myself isolating myself more and more and being afraid of the world, ( I have suffered from agoraphobia because of my dealings with her) because if this is how your own family will treat you - how can you trust others. I don't feel safe in the world at all. I have, in the past, strongly felt for the safety and well being of both my husband and myself - yes murder. This is one of the reasons I am going back into therapy - I cannot continue to live this way.</p><p></p><p>Obviously I am not talking to my daughter at this time. Since a lot of you have shared the same types of betrayal how do you think I should proceed. I want to go back to blocking everything (phones etc.) but once again those around me are encouraging me to go against my instincts and "trust" her - just not with money??? CRAY CRAY!! </p><p></p><p>I could really use support and it looks very much like I will find it here. Sometimes, no matter what hell I have been through - how much I need to protect yourself, I still feel like the <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> for feeling this way about my own child. I know I am living in reality but it is so hard to stay strong when you are bombarded with delusion.</p><p>Thanks everyone in advance, Erika</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 635219, member: 18366"] PART 2: Daughter stole 10's of Thousands from me - what I did and where I am now. When I found out that my daughter had stolen from me I was very hurt, enraged, let me just say emotionally devastated. If one can have an emotional breakdown at home I had one. I could no longer live in denial. I blocked all my numbers, email, Facebook etc. I wanted nothing to do with her. I think my tipping point came when everything fell apart and my husband called her, as instructed by her, to see when she was going to pay the money for yet another tax bill we were being taxed for, for money she took and directed the CPA to report it as our income. She had told my husband to call her after he figured out the recent "mistake" and she would return the money. Instead she blasted him with every foul curse word she could hiss at him and told him to F**k off. I had taken that kind of emotional abuse for years because I am the mother - but my husband (her step-father) is a kind and wonderful man and had never done anything to her, he had always been kind and generous to her and only wanted the best for her. I could take a stand for him when I wasn't able to take a stand for myself. After my "breakdown" I started the long journey towards discovering that my daughter is what I call a sociopath. I say that because she has not been formally diagnosed, however, she HIGHLY fits the profile. If it walks like a duck, quacks like one.............................. I went into therapy to help me to deal. I need to add here, after we had started the business I busied my time taking care of my sister who was developmentally delayed. She became the daughter I could nurture and not get hurt by. Because of my own disabilities she did not live with me but I was very active in her life, even becoming her legal guardian. This was one person in my life who deserved my nurturing, my love, care and attention. Our relationship kept me going because I could re-focus my attention, not on what someone was doing to hurt me but what I could do to help my sister. She became my daughter. I maintained strictly NO CONTACT for over 4 years. Fast forward and I was blindsided by the death of my beloved sister by a severe seizure. The pain of losing her was excruciating and again I found myself emotionally in a pit of despair. I don't know how, but somehow, my daughter wiggled her way back into my life. Maybe because I was so emotionally weak after losing my sister - which as most of you know is when sociopaths pounce. Anyway, we spent the last year on fairly friendly but neutral turf. I, however never brought up the money she had stolen from me - and she has tried all kinds of manipulative things to get me to "react". But I am now too educated and healed to fall into her traps again - so when would see the manipulation coming I would just talk around whatever point she was trying to get to. I knew bringing up the money would just mean an explosion on her part. Still something in the past few weeks has made me want to confront the issue. Most likely because I have had intuitive feelings about her, her actions of being fairly bland towards my husband, I am getting sicker, and she figures it is only a matter of time before my husband dies (he is healthy and has no issues currently besides age) and then she can move in on me and our money. During the time we have been "talking", with me being sick, she has brought up how she will take care of me when I am older. Which in my head sounds like this "I bet you will, right until you spend ever cent I have" So I always say no I am wanting to make my own plans. So this week she finally asked me why I don't trust her to "take care" of me and I told her and HOLY EXPLOSIONS - what a liar I am LOL. "How can I be so mean, cruel and ugly to accuse her of being the kind of daughter that steals from her mother???" Well the kind that has physical paperwork to prove it is my answer, oh and a lawyers bill to boot. A lot of F U's and F**k Off's. And I especially love this part " I am not to contact her again until I am ready to apologize to her for my accusing her of stealing from her" ending with a F**K Off. Really?? Same person who was going to throw "the best mother in the world the greatest birthday ever" - we went out to eat at a diner and my husband paid. Or "we have been apart for so long this Mothers Day is going to be your best ever" only to be followed up with a typed "loving" letter (puke, puke") and a half bag of Dove chocolates??? How when she said she wanted to 'cuddle with me" I am sorry to say but after the hell I have been through, feeling extremely guilty for feeling it I felt repulsed when she would say it. I have gotten to a place where I don't trust anyone anymore. I find myself isolating myself more and more and being afraid of the world, ( I have suffered from agoraphobia because of my dealings with her) because if this is how your own family will treat you - how can you trust others. I don't feel safe in the world at all. I have, in the past, strongly felt for the safety and well being of both my husband and myself - yes murder. This is one of the reasons I am going back into therapy - I cannot continue to live this way. Obviously I am not talking to my daughter at this time. Since a lot of you have shared the same types of betrayal how do you think I should proceed. I want to go back to blocking everything (phones etc.) but once again those around me are encouraging me to go against my instincts and "trust" her - just not with money??? CRAY CRAY!! I could really use support and it looks very much like I will find it here. Sometimes, no matter what hell I have been through - how much I need to protect yourself, I still feel like the :censored2: for feeling this way about my own child. I know I am living in reality but it is so hard to stay strong when you are bombarded with delusion. Thanks everyone in advance, Erika [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
My 40 year Old Daughter stole 10's of Thousands from me - what I did and where I am now
Top