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My 41 year old is a homeless addict
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 732525" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I want to add one more thing. Stop calling yourself names!! You loved and supported him. We did not know in the first years that this would be anything but growing pains.</p><p></p><p>Your intention was not to enable. I hate that word. As you learned what he was dealing with, and with that, what you were facing, you learned, you changed.</p><p></p><p>You are not responsible. There is not one thing you could or could not have done that would have changed things. This is the elephant in the living room. It is about what they do or do not do. Who they are. And are not. This is his learning. No amount of learning by us helps. I have a PhD in suffering. Does it help my child? Not one whit. Does it help me? Even less.</p><p></p><p>Look. Let's get real. Your son is homeless because he is an addict. He thinks like an addict. He behaves like one.</p><p></p><p>No amount of thinking about or suffering about this constellation of factors will help. It involves a doing. By him. And with that, a keeping on. And with that new circumstances, new thinking. By him. Not you. Not me.</p><p></p><p>Every single minute people are doing this. There is no reason it will not, cannot be him. We begin with ourselves. Every moment we have an opportunity to turn to hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 732525, member: 18958"] I want to add one more thing. Stop calling yourself names!! You loved and supported him. We did not know in the first years that this would be anything but growing pains. Your intention was not to enable. I hate that word. As you learned what he was dealing with, and with that, what you were facing, you learned, you changed. You are not responsible. There is not one thing you could or could not have done that would have changed things. This is the elephant in the living room. It is about what they do or do not do. Who they are. And are not. This is his learning. No amount of learning by us helps. I have a PhD in suffering. Does it help my child? Not one whit. Does it help me? Even less. Look. Let's get real. Your son is homeless because he is an addict. He thinks like an addict. He behaves like one. No amount of thinking about or suffering about this constellation of factors will help. It involves a doing. By him. And with that, a keeping on. And with that new circumstances, new thinking. By him. Not you. Not me. Every single minute people are doing this. There is no reason it will not, cannot be him. We begin with ourselves. Every moment we have an opportunity to turn to hope. [/QUOTE]
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My 41 year old is a homeless addict
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