My 6 year old pees in toys, cups and bottles in his room

ced5641

New Member
My son is in grade 1 has childhood trauma and possible ADHD, I have talked to him about why we don’t pee in anything other than the toilet and when asked he lies or says he was too tired or had to go really bad. Any suggestions would be great. I stopped letting him have bottles and cups in his room. I get him to clean up after himself and throw any toys he pees on into the garbage. I don’t know what else to do. Help
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Dear ced

Welcome to the forum. Please see this link ( Regressed Behaviors in Traumatized Children | The Attachment Trauma Center Institute (ATCI) ) that I think has a very good explanation of this kind of behavior by traumatized children. I recognize you didn't ask for this but rather for an intervention that will help your child urinate in the toilet, a behavior I am assuming he did learn but no longer can relied upon to do, all of the time.

As I read this article I see that the peeing in wrong places happens because the traumatized child has regressed, and the reoccurence seems to happen when the child is emotionally triggered in a way that reminds him of the traumatizing event. I would think that a tranquil, secure, low stimulation environment, with loving and predictable attention and support, would be an environment that would help a child feel safe and secure, to minimize regressive triggering. Maybe a new puppy, who needs to be housebroken would be a way to reinforce habits indirectly so as to not shame your child, who I am sure does not choose to do this in a conscious way. But I think the main intervention should be psychological or psychiatric treatment, or even neurofeedback which I am learning is an effective treatment for trauma, for children and adults. Also equine assisted therapy often helps traumatized children. If you have a facility near you, it is often free for children who are disabled, have special needs, or a history of trauma.

I don't think your child does this for reasons that are within his conscious control and therefore I don't think that continuing to talk with him about it will have an effect. He has regressed because he is triggered and he is triggered because he has been traumatized. Trauma in children affects the brain. He doesn't choose to do this or want to do it. I suggest that you see a pediatrician, a counselor, an expressive arts therapist, etc. and they might be able to help deal with resolving the trauma itself.

I have put down my thoughts. Others will be here in the morning.
 

runawaybunny

Administrator
Staff member
My son is in grade 1 has childhood trauma and possible ADHD, I have talked to him about why we don’t pee in anything other than the toilet and when asked he lies or says he was too tired or had to go really bad. Any suggestions would be great. I stopped letting him have bottles and cups in his room. I get him to clean up after himself and throw any toys he pees on into the garbage. I don’t know what else to do. Help
That has to be very frustrating for you. Hang in there.

Here's something that you may find helpful:


 

susiestar

Roll With It
I am sorry that your son was traumatized. I hope you can get help in working this out. One thing that may help is setting a timer for him to go to the bathroom every 1-2 hours. It isn't meant as a punishment (stop your game/show/play and sit on the potty), but to help his body get used to eliminating at regular intervals. He won't want to stop what he is doing to keep going to the bathroom. I would probably read to him on the potty if he was mine. Maybe get a special book that you only read while he is on the toilet? Maybe a book of 5 minute stories? They have them for all sorts of topics - dinosaurs, firemen, fairy tales, etc.... A google search should help you find a book like that. Here is a link to some of them on amazon Amazon.com : 5 minute stories for children . If he prefers to draw, keep a whiteboard and markers or paper and crayons in the bathroom. I know, it sounds strange, but you want to reward him for using the potty. Other than having him clean up, don't yell at him for peeing in his room. It is something he cannot really help at this point, due to the trauma.

If you want a good, clean, fun chapter book series to read with him, try Hank the Cowdog. The books were written by a cousin of my StepMIL, and are Christian but not preachy or churchy, if that makes sense. They are especially fun if you do the different voices. My husband used to read out loud during dinner. Mostly because he was too funny when he read and it riled the kids up, so he didn't read some books at bedtime. I was more boring (not as many good voices) so I got to do more of the bedtime reading.
 
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