Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by plee, Sep 14, 2007.

  1. plee

    plee New Member

    Please help we where just told that our eight year old son has ADHD. Our son is in the third grade and is very smart but he can't control is actions and is very impuslive. He is having a hard time making friends and it breaks my heart that he has to go through this I feel like I have failed him. We go to the DR. Monday for medication and I'm not sure what is the best one. This is new to me and I want to do what every I can to help him. In suggestion would be appercaited

    Mom in need
  2. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    Who told you he had ADHD?
  3. plee

    plee New Member

    His teacher wanted him to be tested so we did. He has been having a hard time with behavior since first grade but I just want to believe that it was boys being boys, But now I see the difference even at home now. I have tried every thing in book to help him behave and control his impulsive but nothing seems to work anymore he is so use to being in trouble every where he goes. He just can't control it as soon as he has done something he knows right away that he shouldn't have and when we ask him why is saids he doesn't know why he does those things. He has also seen a theripist and she agreed to that he was adha and odd

    Thanks for writing back i can use all the help and support i and get

  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Welcome, Plee. I'm sorry to hear that you are having troubles with your son.

    Can you give us some more information regarding what types of doctors or therapists you have seen, tests your son has taken, treatments and/or medications that he takes? That way we have an idea of what type of things have and haven't worked for you.

    Also, have you had any tests for allergies? I'm sure that you have quite a journey behind you. I'm sure that you will find some direction here.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, there, hon. I have a few questions that will help us try to help you.
    1/Which kind of doctor diagnosed him? Did he run a lot of tests and do a complete evaluation? Many disorders look like ADHD.
    2/WHat type of behavior do you see? Is he a fidegety kid? Does he rage? Is he violent? Is he good kid/not so good kid?
    3/Any delays in development or motor skills?
    4/Does he socialize appropriately with peers? Eye contact good? Do other kids find him annoying or quirky?
    5/Does he have any obsessive interests that take up too much of his time and that he likes to talk about (that other kids may find boring, but he doesn't get it?)
    6/Any psychiatric or neurological problems on the family tree? Substance abuse?
    Welcome to the board!
  6. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hi plee and welcome. I know any diagnosis is a devastating event for a parent the first time it happens. Try to remember that addressing the problems is the first step in helping your son.

    I have more questions than answers.

    How does he do with peers?
    Does he have any friends?
    How does he do academically?(many of our kids are on the high end of the IQ scale)
    Did he develop normally since birth? Any causes or concerns that you brought up with the pediatrician.
    How is his speech?
    Any hobbies or interests?
    How is the family tree? Any learning struggles or behavior issues? Any relatives who self medicate with drugs or alcohol?

    Hugs. I know you are feeling a little overwhelmed. Having a disorder or a diagnosis isn't a sign of failure. Don't use this as a judge of your parenting. Ease up on yourself and realize that much of your son's energy can be redirected. Many young people with ADHD grow to be wonderful, productive adults.
  7. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    All 3 of my difficult child's have ADHD. Their medications help them greatly. Don't beat yourself up over it, there isn't anything you could have done different to prevent him having ADHD. He either has it or he doesn't.

    I saw above someone asked if he'd been tested for allergies. Food really does help control the symptoms of ADHD. My youngest son was put on a very strict diet for reactive hypoglycemia, but it helped the ADHD as well.

    It is very difficult to hear your child has a diagnosis, any diagnosis, but think of this as the beginning of finding him the help he needs. ADHD children can not always get under control on their own, diet and/or medication can truly help bring out the child everyone loves to see.

    (((hugs))) and Welcome to the Board! You've found a great group of people!
  8. ML

    ML Guest

    Welcome Plee. My son is also in the third grade. He has adhd, anxiety and other stuff too that is emerging.

    You really have found a great group here.

    I'm still pretty new here, but not new to gfgness. My son was difficult child from the womb lol. We've struggled for diagnosis. We've always known he had adhd and anxiety but we hadn't been able to decide whether the rest of it was spectrum related (autism), bipolar or both.

    I look forward to getting to know you better.

  9. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Hi Plee

    There's not really a "best" stimulant for ADHD. What works for one, doesn't work for another and vise-versa.

    My son was originally started on Ritalin. It wasn't a good match for him; Adderall worked much better and without the side affects we encountered with-Ritalin. Others have had just the opposite experience.

    Educating yourself about your child's disorders will be of great benefit to him. A couple of good on-line resources are:

    Excerpts from Dr. Russell Barkley's lecture in San Francisco, CA on June 17, 2000 at