My boss asked me for advice for her step difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tinamarie1, Feb 29, 2008.

  1. tinamarie1

    tinamarie1 Member

    I just started my job a few weeks ago and today my boss (who is a sweetheart) came to me very flustered and said that the school scanned and emailed her a picture that her step son drew at school today. It is a picture very much resembling the movie The Nightmare Before Christmas. She said it has a skeleton and then on the other corner has someone with some sort of sharp object. Her difficult child is 7 and in 2nd grade by the way. She said the counselor told her she should not be letting him watch those kinds of movies (they saw it last year). My boss said that is her kid, she can let him watch what she wants.
    Her big frustration is that they have taken him to a bunch of docs/ psychiatrists/ neurologists, etc and they are saying there is nothing wrong with him. She said the school psychologist says that since they can't find anything definite they want to label him with aspargers (sp?)..just so that he can start getting spec. services. My boss doesn't want to do that and I don't really blame her. But he is struggling alot with- school and she wants him to rec'v special services and have an IEP. So her question to me today was, "does he have to be labeled with something to get services and an IEP". I told her that was my understanding. Here they call it an "exceptionality" I believe. I really don't know where to tell her to proceed from here...but they are getting to the end of their rope with his behavior and the school over reacting. I told her unfortunately when the school sees a drawing like that, they think he may be the next VA tech shooter..when we may just see it as him being creative or drawing an image he saw in a movie.
    Any advice for what I can tell her or suggest?
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    For an IEP they have to have a disorder or be OHI (other health impaired). I would encourage her to visit here. It sounds like they have not gotten the RIGHT evaluations, it can take an average of 7 years to get the right diagnosis for a child with mental illness. This was in several Aspergers books I read.

    With an Asperger's diagnosis he would be eligible to receive services as his needs direct. It opens up the autism help to him and gives him a LOT of services usually.

    Have they had a neuropsychologist evaluate him (a good neuropsychologist evaluation will be 10-12 hours, broken up)? Or a multidisciplinary team (usually found at major hospitals, esp children's hospitals)? A MD team will have a wide variety of doctors. Ours was in the developmental pediatrician's office. Every child treated there got this evaluation - 4 visits, almost 3 hours each.

    I am sorry her stepson is having so much trouble. Do the parents work well together? Is he triangulating them to get what he wants? Sometimes that carries over into school and makes big problems.

    Hugs, and it was good of you to try to help her.

  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Tina, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with Susie. I would think long and hard before you told your boss about your safe corner of the internet. Would you still feel comfortable posting freely if you knew she was here?
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    JJJ is right. It is a new situation, and you probably will feel a LOT less comfortable if your boss is reading the site too. But you can share any doctor info you have, and book suggestions, and ideas, and hugs!

    Is there any way you can watch the movie and try to find a scene with what your son drew? This might hold some weight.

    Also, Does it matter what label they put on the paper as long as they help? Personally they could tell me my son had the "boogie woogie blues" or anything else, as long as the treatment was appropriate and helpful.