My child is very destructive

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DLeecious, Apr 26, 2011.

  1. DLeecious

    DLeecious New Member

    My gift from God is 12 adhd, rule out turrettes,bipolar,odd,takes adderall and abilify. She is my 5ththe rest are grown and on thier own. She at times will through things when mad but not often. in daily life however things are wasted broken damagedat an amaZing rate and no amount of time or threats of losing privlages possesions fazes her when it comes to cleaning her room and her hygiene is hit and miss I am not saying that at times she hasent done things on pourpose before she was diagnosed and medications she scratched up her grannys truck (age 9). I am a decent parent and try hard to help her with her illness. I have had charts rewards etc. I practice positive renforcementand try to be consistant. But I get a brick wall when I try to explain about room and breakage to therapist or SSi to try to hire some help or replace broken things "she is old anough to learn to clean her own room" "you should supervise her better" I have back problems from being a housekeeping supervisor and it is painful to clean after her she gets up at night sometimes and takes everything out of cabinets and makes horrible messes. I am just wondering if this happens to any body else. I think that she is not aware of the space her body takes up and a lot of accidents are things getting broken or knocked over by elbows and bottom. I love this place it is the only place I have found understanding .
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Have you ever mentioned to her doctor that she does not seem to be aware of her own body and the space it uses?
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I agree with busywend, but I'll add some keywords for you to take with you - and a website to check.

    Recognized in UK, Aus, NZ for some time... hitting the radar in Canada now (barely), don't see much on the radar in US yet, but...

    Could be: Developmental Coordination Disorder (Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD)), aka Developmental Praxia, aka Clumsy Child Syndrome.

    Its a whole raft of issues that have to do with neuromotor controls. May affect fine motor skills (handwriting, tying shoes), gross motor skills (riding a bike, walking, bumping stuff), or BOTH, in differing degrees. May be obvious physical issues - or may generate a huge fatigue overload when trying to do normal volume of living.

    They (we) do NOT grow out of it - ever. But it does improve (developmental... sometimes its just slower to develop), and some areas where it doesn't improve, we just learn to work around. But for a kid - its huge!

    see: - connected to McMaster University, a research site for Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD).

    Destructiveness... can be subtle - torn button holes, work out backs of shoes (from avoiding re-tying), or obvious (scraped up walls, broken dishes, bent keys, etc.) And its NOT on purpose and NOT their fault... (but still costs a pile of $$!)
  4. DLeecious

    DLeecious New Member

    Yes I have,I feel alot of what I say is ignored.I live where mental health care for children is severely lacking. My girl also has walked on her tippy toes since she started walking,the balls of her feet are hard and thick like the pad of a dogs foot .
  5. DLeecious

    DLeecious New Member

    Oh I am soooo thankful that I have found this site! I am a single parent with no support system. i hav e been told that I am a permisive parent (my older kids find that hilarious) with a manipulative child.I know this is not true. Thank you guys so much
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hmmmmmm...walking on tippy toes is a symptom of sensory issues (or can be) and the disorders that go with it because it rarely stands a lone.

    Have you thought of going to a neuropsychologist rather than a psychiatrist or therapist? They can test to see what is on/off the mark and really give very good feedback and help. My son just had took all day...9-3. The feedback was ten pages long and very intensive. Sounds like she could have some neurological issues going on. My son was also a toewalker and he also walked with his feet sort of facing outward. He doesn't anymore, but he got PT for that (physical therapy).

    I would forget the mental health field just for a while and have him neuropsychologist evaluated. Then you can go from there. Keep an open mind and don't get focused that he has any one problem...sometimes disorders mimic one another.

    Good luck, whatever you decide to do. Keep us posted. We've all been there/done that.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    We had no access to neuropsychologist... but Occupational Therapist (OT) (occupational therapist) can do lots, too. Our Occupational Therapist (OT) couldn't give a diagnosis, but did run the tests that tipped the tables toward a certain diagnosis - AND, sensory issues is something OTs have ways to help...

    Just another idea...