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my child refuses to listen to me
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 681777" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>Yes, there are incentives for Jack. He loves music. One of the teachers is good about rewarding him with a song, but he has to do his work and listen to instructions from me in order to earn that song. The second teacher will not provide that reward reliably. I keep Jolly Ranchers on hand and always give him one at the end of class if he has done his work. </p><p></p><p>SWOT, I hear you about missing social skills. I was at the end of my tether and out of ideas. Jack loves social skills class and being with his friends. It was the only reasonable consequence for his behavior. Jack refused to do his math work for the entire math period. His father is the one pushing the school to teach him beyond Jack's tolerance. Jack has one of those "my son will be an engineer" types of fathers. That means that Jack, like it or not, has to complete much more math work than he can comfortably handle. Jack learns at a much slower rate than the other children. Ideally, he could do 15 minutes of math and take a 15 minute break. Sadly, school is too structured to accommodate his need. </p><p></p><p>On Friday, I was attempting to only get Jack to do 4 math problems involving the Pythagorean Theorem. The teacher left him with about 30 problems to do. She was in a meeting. GN, I did check to see if he was doing the problems in his head. He also knows that I will do all the writing for him as long as he tells me what the steps are. He guesses. It is pretty much like that with every subject. He is not motivated to learn all this crud which must seem like so much mumbo-jumbo to him. </p><p></p><p>I am also working with a second student who does understand the problems and can work them out with minimal help. The difference is that she tries to do them. Jack is now standing (won't sit for me), stimming, and often repeating nonsensical phrases. Yep, he's shut down all right. I wish there were a way to get his father to understand the stress he is under. What is the point of making this child take an exam that he will fail?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 681777, member: 11832"] Yes, there are incentives for Jack. He loves music. One of the teachers is good about rewarding him with a song, but he has to do his work and listen to instructions from me in order to earn that song. The second teacher will not provide that reward reliably. I keep Jolly Ranchers on hand and always give him one at the end of class if he has done his work. SWOT, I hear you about missing social skills. I was at the end of my tether and out of ideas. Jack loves social skills class and being with his friends. It was the only reasonable consequence for his behavior. Jack refused to do his math work for the entire math period. His father is the one pushing the school to teach him beyond Jack's tolerance. Jack has one of those "my son will be an engineer" types of fathers. That means that Jack, like it or not, has to complete much more math work than he can comfortably handle. Jack learns at a much slower rate than the other children. Ideally, he could do 15 minutes of math and take a 15 minute break. Sadly, school is too structured to accommodate his need. On Friday, I was attempting to only get Jack to do 4 math problems involving the Pythagorean Theorem. The teacher left him with about 30 problems to do. She was in a meeting. GN, I did check to see if he was doing the problems in his head. He also knows that I will do all the writing for him as long as he tells me what the steps are. He guesses. It is pretty much like that with every subject. He is not motivated to learn all this crud which must seem like so much mumbo-jumbo to him. I am also working with a second student who does understand the problems and can work them out with minimal help. The difference is that she tries to do them. Jack is now standing (won't sit for me), stimming, and often repeating nonsensical phrases. Yep, he's shut down all right. I wish there were a way to get his father to understand the stress he is under. What is the point of making this child take an exam that he will fail? [/QUOTE]
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