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My counseling today was great, as usual
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 77488" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ant'smom</div><div class="ubbcode-body"></p><p>in your case, however, I feel you two may reconcile. dont be mad at me for saying this. it seems like you are both angry and upset and still having a tug of war. yet, I think you both still care. </p><p>time will tell. </div></div></p><p></p><p>This will all really depend on his actions during this seperation. That is why I am not looking at this as a short term thing. He needs to be able to accept what the counselor is telling him and be willing to change his behaviors. I will not ever even think of getting back with him unless I feel in my heart that this will NEVER happen again. I won't allow myself to be put through this again in my lifetime. </p><p></p><p>Then again, I know I still care what happens to him, we have been together since we were 16, but I don't really miss him right now. So that kind of says something in itself. Not sure if it's the anger not allowing me to miss him, or if he just killed something inside me. </p><p></p><p>I am taking the time I need and leaving myself wide open to whatever will come of this. He could do a complete 360 with counseling, but then again he can think very imaturley and just continue to self destruct. Right now all I see him doing is experimenting with different relationships to make sure this is what he wants/or needs to find out if he wants, and that isn't what I'm expecting from this seperation. He certainly isn't going to go from women to women and then come back and say, nope that wasn't what I really wanted. </p><p></p><p>What I would expect from him is for him to think about what he would like to see happen at the end of this seperation, and take the steps he feels he needs to, that may or may not allow that to happen. His mentality doesn't always allow him to process things like that. To me if he wants the outcome to be for our marriage to maybe have a change at all in the end of this, he wouldn't be seeing any other women or even be thinking of having any kind of relationship, but he would be going to counseling and working on his issues and learning to make himself independent and happy. This isn't up to me to tell him though. It's up to him to figure it out. </p><p></p><p>I guess in the end his actions will speak louder then words. He can say anything he wants to me about wanting nothing more then to save our marriage and have his old life back, but then when he walks out the door and calls one of his "friends" to make him happy, everything he said goes right out the window.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 77488, member: 2442"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ant'smom</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> in your case, however, I feel you two may reconcile. dont be mad at me for saying this. it seems like you are both angry and upset and still having a tug of war. yet, I think you both still care. time will tell. </div></div> This will all really depend on his actions during this seperation. That is why I am not looking at this as a short term thing. He needs to be able to accept what the counselor is telling him and be willing to change his behaviors. I will not ever even think of getting back with him unless I feel in my heart that this will NEVER happen again. I won't allow myself to be put through this again in my lifetime. Then again, I know I still care what happens to him, we have been together since we were 16, but I don't really miss him right now. So that kind of says something in itself. Not sure if it's the anger not allowing me to miss him, or if he just killed something inside me. I am taking the time I need and leaving myself wide open to whatever will come of this. He could do a complete 360 with counseling, but then again he can think very imaturley and just continue to self destruct. Right now all I see him doing is experimenting with different relationships to make sure this is what he wants/or needs to find out if he wants, and that isn't what I'm expecting from this seperation. He certainly isn't going to go from women to women and then come back and say, nope that wasn't what I really wanted. What I would expect from him is for him to think about what he would like to see happen at the end of this seperation, and take the steps he feels he needs to, that may or may not allow that to happen. His mentality doesn't always allow him to process things like that. To me if he wants the outcome to be for our marriage to maybe have a change at all in the end of this, he wouldn't be seeing any other women or even be thinking of having any kind of relationship, but he would be going to counseling and working on his issues and learning to make himself independent and happy. This isn't up to me to tell him though. It's up to him to figure it out. I guess in the end his actions will speak louder then words. He can say anything he wants to me about wanting nothing more then to save our marriage and have his old life back, but then when he walks out the door and calls one of his "friends" to make him happy, everything he said goes right out the window. [/QUOTE]
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My counseling today was great, as usual
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