My cousin has had enough

[mstang67chic]

SHe's doing ok actually. AT this point she's kind of waiting to see what court will do and then figure out her next move.

A had his initial court appearance today...reading of the charges. C didn't go but at least one of her sister in law's did and let her know what happened. sister in law said the reading of the charges was a little confusing but there are 3 misd. and 3 felonys.....class B I think. They also have him on a 72 hour hold...we're not completely sure why. Although.....of all the people in court today, only a few were not handcuffed to others and he was one of them so we're thinking he may be on suicide watch. Something was said about him telling his mom that he didn't want her there or don't bother....something like that. If he's mad at anyone it's himself because he knows he just ended his marriage. He goes back to court on Thursday and we're guessing that will be when they handle attorney stuff. He also still has the restraining/no contact order for C and the brother in law. He can't even ASK someone about them.

So...for now, it's a day at a time and C is trying to figure out what she's going to do legally. Which reminds me....do any of you know....of she files for a longer restraining order after the emergency one is up...will or does it look bad if she hasn't filed for divorce or at least a legal separation?

 

[Star*]

Mstang,

THE BEST....ABSOLUTE best thing she can do right this minute? Is to ask family court judge to petition for a CDV restraining order. How LONG they are willing to give her one honestly will be based on several things - history of CDV, the help that she is currently getting (is she RECEIVING counseling?), are the children RECEIVING counseling? - Things have changed a lot since I was "in the circle" of all this - HOWEVER - these things can cost a lot of money. SO If she wants to get them reduced fee or nearly free, or probably free? Tell her to go to your local Domestic Violence Womens shelter. THEY ALL have womens advocates (and mens for that matter) that will STAND before a judge in court and actually will FILE all the necessary paperwork FOR HER...usually gratis.

They will also USUALLY direct her to a good divorce attorney, and represent her also IN COURT when the time comes as witness to the atty. IT HELPS TREMENDOUSLY - their impact in cases like this is WORTH just going and asking questions. There is 100% anonymity.......should she decided - NOPE not for me. But the counseling on what to do is FREE. The information on HOW to proceed is FREE. The point you in the right direction is FREE. THE HELP she may not know is there -----IS FREE.

Strongly urge her to go.

As far as will this HURT her until she decides if she wants to divorce Jerk or give him a THIRD chance? No. Not at all. Thats her decision and don't be surprised if she finds forgiveness in her heart and takes him back because it was all a misunderstanding. HOWEVER - if that's a teetering of hers now? GET THEE TO A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTER and get her some help.

 

[keista]

if she files for a longer restraining order after the emergency one is up...will or does it look bad if she hasn't filed for divorce or at least a legal separation?

No. You can get a restraining order and still stay married forever. The restraining orders are fast, relatively easy to get. Even just the filing for divorce, takes longer - can be mountains of paperwork just for initial filing.

AND she can get child support ordered immediately. Of course his income is nothing while he's in jail, but if he ever gets out and gets a job it can be adjusted then. Even ppl with ZERO income are required to pay child support; I think the minimum nationwide is $50/month.

 

[TerryJ2]

I'm glad others jumped in here, because I don't have a clue.
But I'm glad she is moving forward, and that she had a family member at the hearing to report back to her. So far, so good.