My cousin on the warpath

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, May 16, 2013.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Today, a former employee/so-called friend called from NY to say hi to P. In the past, I have asked this person, S, to not say anything about the apartment to my cousin. Today, the superintendent was there, and wanted to talk to P (he's a jerk but I'll save that for another time), so this person put him on the phone. Immediately P said she was coming up to her apt to visit, and he said, "No, you can't do that, it was sold a year ago and has been converted into a condo."

    She went hysterical.

    I called S in NY and she explained that she hadn't told P, that the superintendent had blurted it out, and then told me I should tell P the truth. I told her that I have told her the truth, on several occasions, amidst much drama, even in front of a therapist, but S talked over me.

    Just when S, the Visiting Angels person (a true angel) got her calmed down, the do-gooder called back and it started all over.

    P gets Ativan at 8 p.m. tonight but I know that won't keep her until morning.

    I called the head nurse and gave her a heads-up, and suggested that she unplug the phone. This phone biz isn't about P's wellbeing, it's about the woman who called to begin with and called back and made it worse.

    I will probably have to see P in person tomorrow and go through everything all over again.

    What do I say? Do I guide her back to la-la land or tell her this is the way it is and that's it? I've gone both directions and it is a circular route. I hate being the bad guy.

    S from Visiting Angels texted me that P was waiting for me to call her and I never called. What's the point? She's already mad at me and I cannot change anything. She is safe and well cared for. I can't change her reality or any reality and it just wears me out.

    We are preparing for easy child's grad barbeque on Sunday and I have to make two salads and decorate tomorrow. And we are recovering from a major meltdown with-difficult child, who had a bad day at school and a fight with-his girlfriend and was sobbing last night. He's been back on lithium for just a few days and refuses to take his clonidine as a PRN any more. :(

    Any ideas on what to tell P? I left a msg for a supervisor at the NAMI family-to-family group but she hasn't called back yet.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Going to guess if you've told it to her both ways (reality wise) her memory is pretty much not dependable. Ehh, do whatever smooths those ruffled feathers the quickest. You're in a no win situation to begin with. You might as well pick the one that makes it the easiest on both of you. If that isn't reality........well, sometimes you need to feed the fantasy.......or at least not rock the boat on it.

    Perhaps you can tell her the superintendent was mixed up on which apartment had sold?

  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I don't think she'll fall for that.
    I will see how she is in the morning. Yesterday, easy child and I took her out to Starbucks for her birthday. easy child took her back to assisted living, and it took her TWO HOURS to get out the door, because P insisted that easy child help her pack for London. Obviously, easy child needs help redirecting and creating boundaries, which I hope she learns in grad school! Poor easy child.
    We call P an emotional vampire. She sucks the life right out of you.
    Today, we went to lunch at a really nice French restaurant, and P didn't remember a thing about packing for London.
    Fingers crossed for tomorrow.
    And I hope the head nurse remembered to unplug the phone like I asked.