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My dad disowned me
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 674092" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>This was cruel and uncalled for. To know these words were spoken by a father to his own daughter is horrifying. I am so sorry this happened to you. We can tell ourselves over and over again that it doesn't matter, but it does matter, very much, how our fathers speak to us. </p><p></p><p>I feel so badly for you. You are such a nice lady, and you have been so strong and making such good progress toward your goals.</p><p></p><p>It makes me want to cry to know your own father said those filthy words. I wish I knew my Bible verses better, but I am sure we are not supposed to judge or threaten with the authority of the Christ.</p><p></p><p>I feel so badly for you.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>There are people so broken themselves that they relish hurting others. Your post indicated your father has victimized you all of your life. I wonder whether he feels threatened by your independence, and by the good, healthy changes you have accomplished. </p><p></p><p>We have followed your posts here, Californiablonde. I remember how scared you have been, and how strong you have been, and I have seen the growth in you.</p><p></p><p>That is why the father is slicing into you with religion. You are getting stronger every day. His other weapons no longer work to devastate you, to freeze you in place, as they once did.</p><p></p><p>I just feel sick that a father threatened his own beautiful daughter as your father has done.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You are doing well and you are getting stronger and healthier the longer you are away from his influence. He wanted to reach out and hurt you, and he did.</p><p></p><p>I am still so shocked that a father would post that to his own daughter.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>He likes to hurt you in private. I think he had no idea that you have people in your life now who know you, and who will come to your defense. I am proud of you for having told your people what happened with your father. That must have been shaming, but you held faith with them and yourself.</p><p></p><p>You are doing so well.</p><p></p><p>What a horrible attack.</p><p></p><p>He must be an awful man.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Typical abuser talk. <em>You are the one who matters here, not him.</em></p><p></p><p><em>He doesn't like that you are getting away from him. He wants a victim, and he will lie to hurt and break you.</em></p><p></p><p>Yay that you told your friends. Abusers like to victimize in isolation. You were very smart and strong to expose him.</p><p></p><p>Good for you.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Abusers lie.</p><p></p><p>How foolish of him to have told such an obvious lie. He wishes you had no one, so you would be isolated when he hurts you.</p><p></p><p>What a terrible man he must be.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>How strange and awful. </p><p></p><p>It sounds to me like he is the one who needs you to pray for him.</p><p></p><p><em>"Pray for their peace and therein, find our own.</em>"</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry. I don't remember where I found that quote.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Of course you care, CB. You love your father. </p><p></p><p>I would be anxious, too. We cannot help but be affected by our abusive people we love. It isn't possible to just stop loving them, I don't think. We believe them when they say these terrible things to us. But they are wrong. Often, they are very sick, people who do things like your father has done. </p><p></p><p>When we were little kids, these people were our heroes.</p><p></p><p>We had no way of understanding they were ill. We had no defense to them then. We do, now. We can share our stories. We can decide to learn the truth about those we love, and that can be so hard to face, and so scary. </p><p></p><p>You are here with us, now.</p><p></p><p>Others of us will be along soon.</p><p></p><p>Take good care of yourself through this time, California. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 674092, member: 17461"] This was cruel and uncalled for. To know these words were spoken by a father to his own daughter is horrifying. I am so sorry this happened to you. We can tell ourselves over and over again that it doesn't matter, but it does matter, very much, how our fathers speak to us. I feel so badly for you. You are such a nice lady, and you have been so strong and making such good progress toward your goals. It makes me want to cry to know your own father said those filthy words. I wish I knew my Bible verses better, but I am sure we are not supposed to judge or threaten with the authority of the Christ. I feel so badly for you. There are people so broken themselves that they relish hurting others. Your post indicated your father has victimized you all of your life. I wonder whether he feels threatened by your independence, and by the good, healthy changes you have accomplished. We have followed your posts here, Californiablonde. I remember how scared you have been, and how strong you have been, and I have seen the growth in you. That is why the father is slicing into you with religion. You are getting stronger every day. His other weapons no longer work to devastate you, to freeze you in place, as they once did. I just feel sick that a father threatened his own beautiful daughter as your father has done. You are doing well and you are getting stronger and healthier the longer you are away from his influence. He wanted to reach out and hurt you, and he did. I am still so shocked that a father would post that to his own daughter. He likes to hurt you in private. I think he had no idea that you have people in your life now who know you, and who will come to your defense. I am proud of you for having told your people what happened with your father. That must have been shaming, but you held faith with them and yourself. You are doing so well. What a horrible attack. He must be an awful man. Typical abuser talk. [I]You are the one who matters here, not him.[/I] [I]He doesn't like that you are getting away from him. He wants a victim, and he will lie to hurt and break you.[/I] Yay that you told your friends. Abusers like to victimize in isolation. You were very smart and strong to expose him. Good for you. Abusers lie. How foolish of him to have told such an obvious lie. He wishes you had no one, so you would be isolated when he hurts you. What a terrible man he must be. How strange and awful. It sounds to me like he is the one who needs you to pray for him. [I]"Pray for their peace and therein, find our own.[/I]" I'm sorry. I don't remember where I found that quote. Of course you care, CB. You love your father. I would be anxious, too. We cannot help but be affected by our abusive people we love. It isn't possible to just stop loving them, I don't think. We believe them when they say these terrible things to us. But they are wrong. Often, they are very sick, people who do things like your father has done. When we were little kids, these people were our heroes. We had no way of understanding they were ill. We had no defense to them then. We do, now. We can share our stories. We can decide to learn the truth about those we love, and that can be so hard to face, and so scary. You are here with us, now. Others of us will be along soon. Take good care of yourself through this time, California. I am so sorry. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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