My dad has lung cancer


Crazy Cat Lady
There are levels of religion in Jewish homes/rehab centers. The one my BFF was in was Conservative.

They kept a kosher kitchen, but allowed food from outside to be brought in provided the "bringer" supplied their own tableware and took it home with them to be cleaned, etc.

The nursing center my late grandfather was in was Orthodox and NO outside food or drink could be bought in. They were "glatt Kosher" and followed the rules to the letter of Leviticus.

When my BFFs health crashed, she was transferred from the nursing center back to the hospital and then into hospice where she died 2 days later.


Well-Known Member
I believe my brother is POA
POA allows for assisting with financial management. I am POA for my parents - so that if they both became incapacitated at the same time (such as a car accident), I could access their suite, get their mail, pay their bills.

The right to make medical decisions rests with the individual. You can assign rights for when you are no longer able to make decisions. Because your father is still in his right mind, he will have to agree to whatever decisions are made.

Scent of Cedar *

Well-Known Member
I was a Hospice volunteer, and took extra classes in Hospice during my training. I was too new a nurse to provide care to those facing the ends of their lives, and did not specialize in Hospice, though I continued to volunteer there. Those who elect to work with Hospice patients, either in a professional capacity or as volunteers, view their commitment as sacred. Your father will be very well cared for with a Hospice designation Serenity. Financially, all Hospice care is covered by Medicare. Hospice can be accessed whether Father is at home, in a rehab center, or in a nursing home. Hospice nurses specialize in pain management, Serenity. They are able to educate family members in what is happening, in how to respond, in how to know what they are seeing and feeling. Hospice involvement takes the fear away, so that the time spent with the loved one is sincerely rewarding for all. Hospice volunteers are trained to assist the person whose life is ending in life review, and to assist the family to understand the dying process, and to help the family cope with the grieving process after their loved ones have passed. Copa had posted to us that her experience with Hospice was less than optimal. I was so sorry to learn that this was so. For so many Hospice patients and families, Hospice involvement honors and consoles both patient and family.



Well-Known Member
SWOT I just saw this and I am so sorry. I just lost my dad the end of October. He was two months from 96 years old. He broke his hip the week before and was transferred to the rehab. My sister and I stayed with him all day through the transfer, got him settled in although we did not like the place and knew he needed more care than he would get there, and by the next morning before we got there he passed away.

So much of what you describe with your sister and brother I have also. I was really kept out of the loop and she made all the decisions and arrangements for him and was his POA. Long story, dysfunctional family. But I loved Dad very much and always thought we had a good relationship. In the end he gave everything to my sister, she cleaned out his apartment knowing my daughter needed so much furniture and housewares, but gave us nothing, she said dad wanted her to have everything. I had come to terms with the dysfunction years ago and always tried to keep that away from my relationship with him.

During the week he was in the hospital I made sure I maintained a friendly interaction with sister. Dad needed our support. The funeral was difficult and there were times I wanted to scream. My family was completely shut out of any of the arrangements and the flag on his casket that was suppose to go to me went to her. That hurt. Since then I communicated with her a few times via text or email regarding his autopsy but we will go back to being uninvolved in each others lives.

It is hard watching your parent fail and know there is nothing you can do. I did the best I could to put aside any past hurts and let him know I loved him. That was all I could do.

I will be thinking of you during this difficult time. So many difficult feelings to deal with.

Tanya M

Living with an attitude of gratitude
Staff member
Oh SWOT I am so sorry to hear about your dad.
I don't know how I missed this post.
I know how much your dad means to you.
I'm holding you and your dad in my thoughts and prayers.
((HUGS)) to you sweet lady!!

okie girl

Well-Known Member
Just now catching up on your thread SWOT. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know it is so hard for you...but please give this to God. He will give you peace and comfort. Will be keeping you and your dad in my prayers. (((Hugs)))


Well-Known Member
Thank you all. It is hard. Nancy, I am so sorry for what you went through.
I am now in illinois and am going to visit my father. It will be hard.
Want to assure all that my dad is in good hands. I love the idea, okie, of giving this to God. Thank you. I have to remember that our end on earth is just a beginning somewhere else. I truly believe that.
Love to all.


Well-Known Member
Serenity, I did not know you went so soon to Illinois. Is your husband with you?

I hope it gives you just a little bit of peace to know that I have been through what you are facing. I am OK now. More than OK. And without you and Cedar I do not know if I would be the person I am now. I doubt it.

I send you love and gratitude and support and hope.



Well-Known Member
This brings up for me so many questions and issues. I am 7 years plus on this forum. I feel "known" here. I believe and feel as if others here know the real me and not only that, have followed me, and seen me, as I have endured and responded to my life and changed. In the same way, I know all of you, have internalized you in a deep and enduring way, worry about you, and think of you. Whether or not you even come here anymore, you are part of me, and part of my life.

All of this is to say that I don't know how to hold the idea that the identities of people who post are invented or dissembled or artificial or created. OK. I know that we all manage our impressions somewhat for public consumption, as in a persona. Thinking about this has brought me to consider how much of it is invented and if this changes anything at all. Perhaps not.

I’m really not worried about rampant deception on this forum. I do believe 99% of the posters here are totally honest, other than changing a few unimportant identifying details/names/etc.

This is a unique case in CD history, as far as I can tell.