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Family of Origin
My dad has lung cancer
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 677892" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Serenity, I think Copas advice is very good. My dad had a "spiritual adviser" in hospice. He was unable to communicate his feelings to family. He had always been a very private person, stoic.</p><p>I was able to talk with her over the phone, and she shared very comforting things with me and shed light on the process dad was going through.</p><p>It is a very difficult thing for family to go through when a parent is diagnosed with a terminal illness. We all go through our own stages, dealing with it.</p><p></p><p>What I am realizing, is that my father became even more private, and was intensely reviewing his life. He lived for six years after diagnosis, and turned his thoughts even more inward. He was very close to my brothers daughters, I am grateful they added a spark to his life and filled his heart with joy. I truly think they helped him live longer.</p><p>It was an especially hard time for me, being 6000 miles away. I could only rely on reports from my brother and sisters, and mom, to know what was happening with dad. I am glad they kept me informed, it was a way I could " be there."</p><p></p><p>We do not have a lot of money, travel is quite expensive, I worked and also had kids to care for as well as all the stuff that was going on with my two, and the grands.</p><p>I visited when I could, a lot, too much. It was never enough for me, really, but truthfully, it was over extending. Turned out, when dad finally entered hospice ( for the third time) he passed while I was here. We called dad the miracle man, he went through a series of health issues that we all thought "was it". Then bounced back. Even the doctors were amazed.</p><p></p><p>I am glad dad had the care he did, in the end. According to this very kind lady who sat with him and listened to him, he had a lot of things to work through, before he passed.</p><p></p><p>Though my father probably would not have sought this sort of help on his own, having someone there who was <em>not family,</em> who he could confide in, was very comforting and helpful to him.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find something similar for your dad and family. I think it would be very helpful for everyone involved.</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 677892, member: 19522"] Serenity, I think Copas advice is very good. My dad had a "spiritual adviser" in hospice. He was unable to communicate his feelings to family. He had always been a very private person, stoic. I was able to talk with her over the phone, and she shared very comforting things with me and shed light on the process dad was going through. It is a very difficult thing for family to go through when a parent is diagnosed with a terminal illness. We all go through our own stages, dealing with it. What I am realizing, is that my father became even more private, and was intensely reviewing his life. He lived for six years after diagnosis, and turned his thoughts even more inward. He was very close to my brothers daughters, I am grateful they added a spark to his life and filled his heart with joy. I truly think they helped him live longer. It was an especially hard time for me, being 6000 miles away. I could only rely on reports from my brother and sisters, and mom, to know what was happening with dad. I am glad they kept me informed, it was a way I could " be there." We do not have a lot of money, travel is quite expensive, I worked and also had kids to care for as well as all the stuff that was going on with my two, and the grands. I visited when I could, a lot, too much. It was never enough for me, really, but truthfully, it was over extending. Turned out, when dad finally entered hospice ( for the third time) he passed while I was here. We called dad the miracle man, he went through a series of health issues that we all thought "was it". Then bounced back. Even the doctors were amazed. I am glad dad had the care he did, in the end. According to this very kind lady who sat with him and listened to him, he had a lot of things to work through, before he passed. Though my father probably would not have sought this sort of help on his own, having someone there who was [I]not family,[/I] who he could confide in, was very comforting and helpful to him. I hope you can find something similar for your dad and family. I think it would be very helpful for everyone involved. (((Hugs))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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My dad has lung cancer
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