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My daughter hits me, throws things at me, and breaks my stuff
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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 676802" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>Yep, I've got a grandson, ADHD with Anxiety Disorder, that will really let fly when he loses his temper. He flies at his mother and grandfather kicking and hitting and saying pretty terrible stuff at the top of his lungs. And as fast as he blows up, it's over. I don't seem to get it to that degree because I go all Zen and still and speak super softly, which actually makes my stomach hurt from holding in my anger. I'm trying to model anger management. And then we talk after his blow-up and we've all calmed down.</p><p></p><p>I usually know what will set him off, so I front-load my requests. "In 20 minutes, iPad time is over" and I set the timer on the stove. If he starts whining about more time, I say "take the time you feel you must have now, but understand that you will be giving up your tablet time tomorrow." After a few challenges to see if I would stick to my guns, he usually complies the first time. And there are days at time when he's confrontational about everything: taking a shower, brushing his teeth, doing minimal homework, pretty much anything. Structure and predictability will help lower the anxiety, reading books (Explosive Child, What Your Angry Child is Trying to Tell You, and the connecting with the people here), things are better. Maturation, consistency, absolute conviction and calmness, picking your battles, and hiding the baseball bat. Yes, my car and myself got bashed with a bat once. Lordy. Also, we took him off the stimulants and he went on Intuniv. We decided that lowering the anxiety was better for him in the long run then improving focus. That may change, but we did see improvement after the medication change. That was just our experience, and guided by a child psychiatrist. Your mileage may (and probably will) vary. It's so hard. I have found that when I focus on anxiety lowering first, and try to anticipate what will cause problems and come up with a plan, it has reduced problems over time. Now, when puberty hits....I have no flipping idea.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 676802, member: 13260"] Yep, I've got a grandson, ADHD with Anxiety Disorder, that will really let fly when he loses his temper. He flies at his mother and grandfather kicking and hitting and saying pretty terrible stuff at the top of his lungs. And as fast as he blows up, it's over. I don't seem to get it to that degree because I go all Zen and still and speak super softly, which actually makes my stomach hurt from holding in my anger. I'm trying to model anger management. And then we talk after his blow-up and we've all calmed down. I usually know what will set him off, so I front-load my requests. "In 20 minutes, iPad time is over" and I set the timer on the stove. If he starts whining about more time, I say "take the time you feel you must have now, but understand that you will be giving up your tablet time tomorrow." After a few challenges to see if I would stick to my guns, he usually complies the first time. And there are days at time when he's confrontational about everything: taking a shower, brushing his teeth, doing minimal homework, pretty much anything. Structure and predictability will help lower the anxiety, reading books (Explosive Child, What Your Angry Child is Trying to Tell You, and the connecting with the people here), things are better. Maturation, consistency, absolute conviction and calmness, picking your battles, and hiding the baseball bat. Yes, my car and myself got bashed with a bat once. Lordy. Also, we took him off the stimulants and he went on Intuniv. We decided that lowering the anxiety was better for him in the long run then improving focus. That may change, but we did see improvement after the medication change. That was just our experience, and guided by a child psychiatrist. Your mileage may (and probably will) vary. It's so hard. I have found that when I focus on anxiety lowering first, and try to anticipate what will cause problems and come up with a plan, it has reduced problems over time. Now, when puberty hits....I have no flipping idea. [/QUOTE]
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My daughter hits me, throws things at me, and breaks my stuff
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