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My daughter is a prostitute
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687205" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>It is one thing to give her her space to make her own lifestyle decisions. But where is her motivation to respect the lifestyle choices and sensibility of other people?</p><p>I think this is an enlightened way to look at the situation except for one thing: your daughter seems not to be observing conventional behavioral norms, i.e. sleeping with her brother's friend right off who she met at a family function and telling a very off color joke to your son's father-in-law. Both things made you, her mother, uncomfortable, and others, too.</p><p></p><p>You may tell her what your expectations are of her in family gatherings, with you, or not. Your choice. It is her choice whether or not she will adhere to them.</p><p></p><p>I know how you must feel, wanting your daughter in your life, even though you will not share hers. But I believe that respect is a 2 way street and we do not help our children by allowing them to disrespect others, themselves (in our presence) or us--which I believe your daughter has done.</p><p></p><p>I believe she is capable of changing her behavior, if she wants to. Nobody has a right to tell her what to do in our own life as long as she only suffers the consequences and is willing to pay the price. She is choosing a lifestyle which in my country brings with it the risk of incarceration, disease and violence. Even if you remove the elements of stigma and the degradation. Her choice.</p><p></p><p>If she keeps this part of her life and herself separate, it is one thing. It is another if she insists in submitting others to her moral code. </p><p></p><p>She is in a sense saying to you, take me as I am, whatever I want to be, wherever I am, whatever I do whether I embarrass you or anybody else. I see this is dominance.</p><p></p><p>In my own life with my son we have decided to curb this dominance around us. More and more we are saying (directly)this: in our space, with us, or anywhere we control, our rules or leave. Do whatever it is you want, anywhere you want, except with us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687205, member: 18958"] It is one thing to give her her space to make her own lifestyle decisions. But where is her motivation to respect the lifestyle choices and sensibility of other people? I think this is an enlightened way to look at the situation except for one thing: your daughter seems not to be observing conventional behavioral norms, i.e. sleeping with her brother's friend right off who she met at a family function and telling a very off color joke to your son's father-in-law. Both things made you, her mother, uncomfortable, and others, too. You may tell her what your expectations are of her in family gatherings, with you, or not. Your choice. It is her choice whether or not she will adhere to them. I know how you must feel, wanting your daughter in your life, even though you will not share hers. But I believe that respect is a 2 way street and we do not help our children by allowing them to disrespect others, themselves (in our presence) or us--which I believe your daughter has done. I believe she is capable of changing her behavior, if she wants to. Nobody has a right to tell her what to do in our own life as long as she only suffers the consequences and is willing to pay the price. She is choosing a lifestyle which in my country brings with it the risk of incarceration, disease and violence. Even if you remove the elements of stigma and the degradation. Her choice. If she keeps this part of her life and herself separate, it is one thing. It is another if she insists in submitting others to her moral code. She is in a sense saying to you, take me as I am, whatever I want to be, wherever I am, whatever I do whether I embarrass you or anybody else. I see this is dominance. In my own life with my son we have decided to curb this dominance around us. More and more we are saying (directly)this: in our space, with us, or anywhere we control, our rules or leave. Do whatever it is you want, anywhere you want, except with us. [/QUOTE]
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