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My daughter is going to be homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 706964" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome Jesllo. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It's so very hard for our mommy hearts to bear what our adult difficult children put us through.</p><p></p><p>You have done all you can for your daughter. You have even helped get paperwork filled out for SSI and food stamps. Was she able to get them?</p><p></p><p>I agree with you that it is not a good idea to let her move in with you and especially not the boyfriend. </p><p></p><p>I know you feel guilty but you really have nothing to feel guilty about. I know that's easier said than done. Coming out of the FOG is not easy. (Fear Obligation Guilt)</p><p></p><p>All you can do is continue to offer her advice on where she can get help. This is where you have to be really strong because our adult difficult kids will use our emotions against us. They know we feel guilty and they will us that to their advantage.</p><p></p><p>I can tell you that many who find themselves "homeless" manage quite well. My son has been homeless for quite a few years. (he's currently in jail on assault charges) but he has always managed to find a place to stay, couch surfing and also living in a tent. Homeless people actually do manage to network. It's not what any of us want for our kids but it's not our choice it's theirs and that is the hardest thing to accept that it's their choice and we cannot change it.</p><p></p><p>You cannot change your daughter but you can change how you respond to her drama and chaos.</p><p></p><p>This is not an easy thing to endure but you are here now and here you will find much needed support and understanding.</p><p></p><p>One final note, your profile picture, if that's your real picture you might want to consider changing it. We try to remain anonymous here.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting and let us know how things are going.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you..........................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 706964, member: 18516"] Welcome Jesllo. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It's so very hard for our mommy hearts to bear what our adult difficult children put us through. You have done all you can for your daughter. You have even helped get paperwork filled out for SSI and food stamps. Was she able to get them? I agree with you that it is not a good idea to let her move in with you and especially not the boyfriend. I know you feel guilty but you really have nothing to feel guilty about. I know that's easier said than done. Coming out of the FOG is not easy. (Fear Obligation Guilt) All you can do is continue to offer her advice on where she can get help. This is where you have to be really strong because our adult difficult kids will use our emotions against us. They know we feel guilty and they will us that to their advantage. I can tell you that many who find themselves "homeless" manage quite well. My son has been homeless for quite a few years. (he's currently in jail on assault charges) but he has always managed to find a place to stay, couch surfing and also living in a tent. Homeless people actually do manage to network. It's not what any of us want for our kids but it's not our choice it's theirs and that is the hardest thing to accept that it's their choice and we cannot change it. You cannot change your daughter but you can change how you respond to her drama and chaos. This is not an easy thing to endure but you are here now and here you will find much needed support and understanding. One final note, your profile picture, if that's your real picture you might want to consider changing it. We try to remain anonymous here. Keep posting and let us know how things are going. ((HUGS)) to you.......................... [/QUOTE]
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