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Substance Abuse
My daughter Is refusing help/relapses almost immediately
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 760447" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>There are as many possible responses as there are parents and children. It really depends upon your needs and your temperament. For example, there was one mother here who would not accept her son's addiction and did whatever it took to get him to residential treatment, and to stay there. He became sober and a few years down the line he's still sober, working, and in college, living with his parents. There are others like this mother.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is, these parents who do this know their children, and there are less likely to be other variables like adoption or mental illness or even divorce. These things greatly complicate matters for the child and the parents. My son is adopted and mentally ill. I have been trying to "help" him for many years (he is now 32.) Not one thing has worked, because he is not motivated in any way to achieve what I want for him. Even when I "protect" him, it is only temporary (until he gets more money and then he goes where he wants and does what he wants.) Bottom line from my experience, is that you can't protect somebody who doesn't want to be kept safe.</p><p></p><p>So the answer as I see it, has to do as much with you, as with your daughter. Your daughter seems to be very much in the throes of addiction and to be managing that lifestyle pretty well. How can you oppose that, if she is hellbent to continue? I don't see how you can. But that is my view only. </p><p></p><p>If your daughter is not even lasting 24 hours in a supervised setting, how in the world can you have any control over her in the big wide world, unless there is some buy in from her? </p><p></p><p>Of course all of this is easier for me to say, about you and your situation, than in my own life.</p><p></p><p>Welcome. I am glad you've found us.</p><p></p><p>There is an organization called NAMI. For family members of mentally ill people, which might be of some help. They have meetings in communities throughout the country.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 760447, member: 18958"] There are as many possible responses as there are parents and children. It really depends upon your needs and your temperament. For example, there was one mother here who would not accept her son's addiction and did whatever it took to get him to residential treatment, and to stay there. He became sober and a few years down the line he's still sober, working, and in college, living with his parents. There are others like this mother. But the thing is, these parents who do this know their children, and there are less likely to be other variables like adoption or mental illness or even divorce. These things greatly complicate matters for the child and the parents. My son is adopted and mentally ill. I have been trying to "help" him for many years (he is now 32.) Not one thing has worked, because he is not motivated in any way to achieve what I want for him. Even when I "protect" him, it is only temporary (until he gets more money and then he goes where he wants and does what he wants.) Bottom line from my experience, is that you can't protect somebody who doesn't want to be kept safe. So the answer as I see it, has to do as much with you, as with your daughter. Your daughter seems to be very much in the throes of addiction and to be managing that lifestyle pretty well. How can you oppose that, if she is hellbent to continue? I don't see how you can. But that is my view only. If your daughter is not even lasting 24 hours in a supervised setting, how in the world can you have any control over her in the big wide world, unless there is some buy in from her? Of course all of this is easier for me to say, about you and your situation, than in my own life. Welcome. I am glad you've found us. There is an organization called NAMI. For family members of mentally ill people, which might be of some help. They have meetings in communities throughout the country. [/QUOTE]
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My daughter Is refusing help/relapses almost immediately
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