Hello all, I hope everyone is doing well. I haven't been on in a few weeks, more computer problems, I need a new one. My difficult child has been driving me nuts as usual. She comes and goes as she pleases with no regard for rules whatsoever. Our social worker comes for her visit weekly and ends up giving me therapy as my daughter does not show up to participate. My sw is trying her best to get me to detach and not be so wrapped up in my daughter's life anymore. She says I have already done everything I can for her and it is now up to her to change her life. I already know this it's just hard to do. How do I not worry? I can't sleep at night, I am having nightmares about my difficult child almost daily. I sleep for 30 minutes and wake up, this goes on all night long. My husband and I have stopped giving her anything we are not legally bound to give her, food, shelter and hygiene products is all she gets. I will not allow her to have company in my house and we barely talk to her as we are all just so fed up. If she is not home by curfew the door gets locked for the night. So she stays out all night and waits on the porch for us to open the door in the morning. It has been hell. Now I am learning that my beautiful baby girl is sleeping around. She just took 2 pregnancy tests, both were negative, thank the Lord and she just got her period. I know of 10 guys she has been with, God only knows how many others there are. A friend of mine has told me that my daughter's name is all over the streets, she has a reputation of a ****. She has admitted to me that she sleeps with boys very quickly and they don't even have to be her boyfriend!!! I have been sick over this, physically sick!!! This is killing me. I am conumed with worry, what if she has HIV or some other disease. She will not go to the doctor, she has never been to the gyno - she just flat out refuses to go. We have been trying to get her to go for years. Her therapist and our sw have been pushing for her to get a check up as well. To no avail of course. She swears she is using condoms, but I don't believe her one bit. She lies like the best of them. What bothers me the most is her lack of self respect and self worth. My God can't she see what she is doing to herself. She just doesnt love herself. She is not ignorant, I have been talking to her about sex since she was 11. I, to this day, lecture her on the importance of respecting her body and how important it is to hold her sexuality with very high regard, to have high standards and to be with someone who she is in love with as well as who is in love with her. I STRESS the importance of using protection, I have forced her to watch numerous documentaries on STDs and AIDS. She doesnt care, she doesnt care about herself. It is like torture to my soul to know she is permiscuious. I love this child so much, she is killing me!!! What can I do to help her at this pont? She has been in 3 rtcs, had 9 in-patient hospitalization, we have a sw as well as an intensive case manager and she has all kinds of services at her reach. She just wont participate in any of them. I have filled out an application for her to go into independent living. So when she turns 18 (in Feb) she can move out. I love her, I just can't watch her destroy herself any longer. I am petrified she will contract AIDS, I couldn't handle that. This is all I think about. It has taken over my life, this worry is suffocating me. Thanks for listening. I welcome any advice. God bless.