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Substance Abuse
My daughter... When will it end?
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 652937" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>Hi Mustang Dad--</p><p>I fully understand the enabling since I'm sort-of in the same boat as you. I'm still trying to reconcile "ennobling vs. enabling" with my 28-year-old heroin addicted son. He currently lives with us (as of 18 months ago) but is moving out soon. Although I don't pay his bills (except the free rent), the whole situation is a drain in more ways than one. </p><p></p><p>Since your daughter seems to be doing well in some aspects of her life, such as attending college and working, I think she's fully capable of living on her own. I think human nature, especially for our entitled kids, makes a person look for the easiest way to live. Your kindness of helping your daughter has reached a point where she expects too much and isn't really trying to be independent financially. </p><p></p><p>And I agree that under no circumstances should you allow her to bring a new baby into the household. I'm afraid you'll end up rearranging your life and depleting your finances even more, and day care is not cheap. I know you're a compassionate person, but there's a point where we have to look out for ourselves. I can speak as one who is struggling with this issue myself, and I think you've taken a good step by posting here and gaining insight from the collective wisdom of the forum members. You do have the strength to change things, but you'll have to do some things that are against your natural inclinations. It's not selfish to take care of yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 652937, member: 18099"] Hi Mustang Dad-- I fully understand the enabling since I'm sort-of in the same boat as you. I'm still trying to reconcile "ennobling vs. enabling" with my 28-year-old heroin addicted son. He currently lives with us (as of 18 months ago) but is moving out soon. Although I don't pay his bills (except the free rent), the whole situation is a drain in more ways than one. Since your daughter seems to be doing well in some aspects of her life, such as attending college and working, I think she's fully capable of living on her own. I think human nature, especially for our entitled kids, makes a person look for the easiest way to live. Your kindness of helping your daughter has reached a point where she expects too much and isn't really trying to be independent financially. And I agree that under no circumstances should you allow her to bring a new baby into the household. I'm afraid you'll end up rearranging your life and depleting your finances even more, and day care is not cheap. I know you're a compassionate person, but there's a point where we have to look out for ourselves. I can speak as one who is struggling with this issue myself, and I think you've taken a good step by posting here and gaining insight from the collective wisdom of the forum members. You do have the strength to change things, but you'll have to do some things that are against your natural inclinations. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. [/QUOTE]
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My daughter... When will it end?
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