Mom2oddson
Active Member
I've come to the conculsion that detachment is like riding a bicycle up hill. The minute you stop pedaling, you start sliding backwards.
I must of relaxed a little and slowed down on my pedaling because now I have to make up some ground.
There isn't any one big thing that happened, just a bunch of little things that got the best of me.
1) I finally finished the quilts for my niece and nephews. It took a while because the tendonitis in my thumbs has been acting up. But, they are done and ready for the mail. But, I can't find the address. My address book fell apart last fall and I guess that is one of the lost addresses. Should be no big deal, but these kids belong to one of three sister-in-laws that refuse to talk to me. Sent off a text, FB message and an e-mail for a request of the address to mail the quilts, no response from any of them. So it stings....still/again.
2) In the weekend mail, we got an invite to mother in law's 60th b-day party. They've had no contact with us since they took us to court for the child support. And husband has had no contact with them either. So all the invite did was to remind us of the dysfunction of this relationship. So another sting....
3) Steph & my Mom. Can't convince my Mom to keep stuff about Steph to herself. She thinks she is helping by pointing out that Steph still has a heart, but all it does is stabs me in mine..... Told my Mom yesterday that Ant would be at her house for Easter dinner. So she has to tell me that Steph stopped by to visit last week. I didn't need to know that! All it does is rub in the fact that the kid wants nothing to do with me - the step-mom, but can go out of her way to visit MY parents. I'm bad for/to her, but my parents are okay. So...even more stings.
What bothers me the most is that I let these things sting me!! Why does it bother me? And why, when I get to a spot where is doesn't bother me, do I feel like a hard-hearted witch?? Do you ever get to a spot in the middle ground where you don't end up in tears because of the dysfunction around you, yet still have a heart soft enough to feel?? I'm tired of this stupid see-saw....I'm so hard nothing gets to me...I'm so soft I hurt at every little thing....up/down, up/down, up/down....
I must of relaxed a little and slowed down on my pedaling because now I have to make up some ground.
There isn't any one big thing that happened, just a bunch of little things that got the best of me.
1) I finally finished the quilts for my niece and nephews. It took a while because the tendonitis in my thumbs has been acting up. But, they are done and ready for the mail. But, I can't find the address. My address book fell apart last fall and I guess that is one of the lost addresses. Should be no big deal, but these kids belong to one of three sister-in-laws that refuse to talk to me. Sent off a text, FB message and an e-mail for a request of the address to mail the quilts, no response from any of them. So it stings....still/again.
2) In the weekend mail, we got an invite to mother in law's 60th b-day party. They've had no contact with us since they took us to court for the child support. And husband has had no contact with them either. So all the invite did was to remind us of the dysfunction of this relationship. So another sting....
3) Steph & my Mom. Can't convince my Mom to keep stuff about Steph to herself. She thinks she is helping by pointing out that Steph still has a heart, but all it does is stabs me in mine..... Told my Mom yesterday that Ant would be at her house for Easter dinner. So she has to tell me that Steph stopped by to visit last week. I didn't need to know that! All it does is rub in the fact that the kid wants nothing to do with me - the step-mom, but can go out of her way to visit MY parents. I'm bad for/to her, but my parents are okay. So...even more stings.
What bothers me the most is that I let these things sting me!! Why does it bother me? And why, when I get to a spot where is doesn't bother me, do I feel like a hard-hearted witch?? Do you ever get to a spot in the middle ground where you don't end up in tears because of the dysfunction around you, yet still have a heart soft enough to feel?? I'm tired of this stupid see-saw....I'm so hard nothing gets to me...I'm so soft I hurt at every little thing....up/down, up/down, up/down....