.....and sometimes i don't feel like getting out of bed. It's been three months since he violated probation. When he went to court for the first hearing, his PO wanted him to get two years in county jail. The ass DA wanted him to stay in jail until mid September and then suspend his sentence and the lawyer i got him wanted him to be put back on probation. Ultimately, the judge went with the DA and difficult child has been sitting in jail since march 7th. He will return to court on September 18 for the official sentencing. difficult child has completely changed his attitude and taken responsibility for what has transpired in his life. His letters from jail are heartbreaking and makes me so sad. He has kept busy in jail volunteering to work outside the cell doing some cleaning and serving food to the inmates which gives him extra time to stay out than expected. He is also going to the jail church sessions. On the other hand he looks much healthier than when he got there and so humble and i am thankful that. And most important he is clean from drugs. But there are days when i feel so much despair and guilty of what i did or didn't do as a parent to contribute to his woes. But i am hoping that he has now learnt a big lesson and will turn his life around when he gets out. Thanks for reading thus far, i just wanted to write something down to feel better.