My difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by kyth, May 16, 2009.

  1. kyth

    kyth New Member

    Whew. . .how to explain my difficult child. ODD, ADD, impulse issues, anger issues and now he's got a police record, thanks to the lovely principal at his school. difficult child says he likes school, but doesn't like anything but recess, gym class and computer lab. Some days he's a sweetie. . .other days. . .not so much. Don't know what else to say.
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hi kyth,
    welcome to our world. We will need a little more info. What would you like from the group?
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    kyth, welcome :D

    Sorry you had to come here. Can you please explain more of your situation to us? I can help you with a few questions:

    1/His age please
    2/Who diagnosed him, if anyone
    3/any abuse issues in the background?
    4/any psychiataric problems on either side of the family tree? Anyone abuse alcohol or other drugs?
    5/how was his early development as in talking, cuddling, motor skills, relating to his same age peers, playing appropriately with toys? Any quirks?

    The more we know, the more we can help. People who have kids most like yours will jump in. But it makes a big difference if he is six years old or sixteen and possibly doing drugs...
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hi kyth and welcome. :)
  5. kyth

    kyth New Member

    Ok. . here goes.

    In order of apperance:

    1/His age please: ^ and a half

    2/Who diagnosed him, if anyone. First was suggested by his first grade principal that he might have Ausbergers (sp?), was officially tested for ADD and ODD and was diagnosed at the beginning of the school year.

    3/any abuse issues in the background? With him, absolutely not. I don't talk to my mom because of the stuff I went through when I was little, but with my difficult child, no.

    4/any psychiataric problems on either side of the family tree? Hubby has major depression, brother in law I think might have high functioning autism undiagnosed, Father in law with depression, the list goes on and on with his side. My mom is just a basketcase because of nurture, not nature.

    Anyone abuse alcohol or other drugs? the only drugs anyone takes is the ones they are prescribed by either an MD, or a psychiatrist.
    5/how was his early development as in talking? he talked at six months. Nonstop.
    cuddling? with me, he used to cuddle. With hubby. . no. touching. period. those two don't get along.
    motor skills? I'm assuming that means walking/crawling/running etc? in which case, difficult child was walking at eight months old. He crawled for two weeks, thought it too slow and started walking, then running.
    relating to his same age peers? He likes them, they find him annoying because he's infatuated with underpants. not the clothing itself, but the word "underpants." he says it repeatedly.
    playing appropriately with toys? hmm. . .average. . although if I leave him with anything he's never played with before, he'll find a way to take it apart. Like his etch a sketch. He opened it because he wanted to see how it worked and got etch-a-sketch stuff all over the place.
    Any quirks? you mean other than his fetish for all things dealing with underwear? I used to think boys were icky. . .now I know it :p

    But let me describe my son. On good days, he's fun, bright and thinks outside the box. WAAAYYY outside the box. He even asked his teacher if he could multiply numbers. She said that if he understood how to do it, he could, but the rest of the class might not understand it, so she was obligated to teach those kids the long way to add. He's extremely bright and he loves pokemon. . .typical eight year old. Now. . .on bad days, he's. . .argumentative, loud, violent, and he hurts people. Just because he's mad. He tends not to think before he does things (impulsive) and any discipline measures we do have to be drastic to get across to him that he has done something wrong. I used to spank him. . but that didn't do any good. . .so then we started time outs. . .and believe me, those didn't work either. He's been suspended from school about 3 times this year, 4 times in first grade, and 8 times in kindergarten. He hits teachers, he kicks councellors, he bites. .I sometimes feel so guilty because his school calls me to come and pick him up from school for being. . .himself. . .and they'll call in the middle of a full blown hissy, so when I get there, they are looking at me like "He's your son. Fix him." I can't even communicate with him when he's screaming so loud I can't even hear myself think. so. .

    yeah. . .
    he's my difficult child. .
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I think he sounds like a really neat kid.

    And I'd take him to a neuropsychologist. In my layman's opinion (I have a similar child) he could have Aspergers and "just testing for ADHD" won't cut it. NeuroPsychs test for everything over a period of 6-10 hours. If he's an Aspie, he will need interventions and medications alone won't do the trick. His taking stuff apart is very Aspie as is his advanced vocabulary and his obsession with an inappropriate word. I'm not diagnostician, but I'd definitely have a neuropsychologist see him. These kids aren't "bad." And on some days they seem almost normal. They are sweethearts too! But they are very quirky and have to learn how to fit intos society. They do not pick it up like other kids do, just by being around other people. They need to be taught. Remember, all Aspies are different just like all people are different.

    Good luck, whatever you decide to do.