My difficult child's birthday

[Malika]

Must be the season for difficult child birthdays... Mine had his party this afternoon at a hamburger restaurant - about 9 other kids who were all taken off by a young girl who entertained them with various high jinks for an hour and a half. J emerged with multiple varieties of transformers, cars and fire engines and had clearly had a good time. He impressed me by thanking people - unprompted by me - for his presents.
About presents... I gave him just a couple, carefully chosen and he had a few other things from members of my family. He was so happy with it all and it struck me (in the context of Christmas) that really less is more... Kids don't need huge numbers of presents. Just a few things that they really appreciate. It's difficult when the peer pressure is on, I know.

 

[klmno]

That sounds very successful- Congrats to your son and to you! It sounds like you planned this well and things went good for him! Treasure those memories!

 

[gcvmom]

Happy Birthday difficult child!!! Glad his party went so well and he enjoyed himself so much! They really are very easy to please at that age. I wish I'd realized that back then -- we did way too much when ours were younger, in hindsight. Could have saved ourselves a lot of stress and $$$ if we'd realized that then!

 

[pepperidge]

Glad it went so well--could have ended in an overstimulated diasaster, so it sounds like difficult child did really really well. How nice to have it end nicely!

 

[buddy]

It is true that less is more, when Q was young he never even asked for anything. So people loved that and gave him tons of stuff and he got used to it. Now he sees what kids have and really wants it. He is so open/honest (too much, I know) that he will just say, my brain thinks of this all the time mom, I am really jealous and I can't stop wanting a phone (or whatever, now it is the phone) and so I get mad and want to do something. I know I have to wait, and if I don't get that then can I have an iPod to play angry birds and watch nascar and do skype with (TeDo's boys)...... so he is now listening to me about options, hope that works in my favor when he gets his present because I didn't get the iPod, I have been using the Galaxy player though, and it is really fast, the camera is great, the whole thing is so much better than my phone. If he doesn't like it, I will be fine using it, LOL.


I am so glad he had a good time. It feels great when you have your kids just do the polite thing on their own. Q used such nice words at the hospital today (until notice of a blood test) and they even commented on it, can you please open this for me mom, thanks mom, etc. And answering questions on his own.

Last summer a new kid came to the pool, I happened to look up and saw MY son reaching his hand out to welcome him, they shook hands and he asked what the kids name was. I got a glimps of what he could have been, if he did not have all these issues. I was so proud. But also a tiny bit bummed that this was such a huge achievement and only happens rarely.

I hope J has a good day tomorrow, you have posted he can get tired and worn out after events, hoping for a good night's sleep and luckily it is a weekend so he can recover for a day (unless you have more planned?) I have to face the birthday thing beginning of January.... hope it goes well for us too. He is actually thinking of doing something himself, so I think I am off the hook for the party scene!

 

[Malika]

Yes, the day was carefully planned in that we had a very quiet time together all day - he watched television (special treat), played with the toys he got in the morning, we went for a long walk in the beautiful, unseasonal sunshine. I was going to take him skating with a friend and her son but decided against because I thought it would be too much stimulation. A wise decision, probably. In the evening I went out and he was beautifully behaved with the babysitter (a teenager from the village he has had before to babysit) so all in all it was a successful day.

 

[buddy]

you are really a great mom, I picture (well I have seen a few pictures so it helps) such a romantic setting, with old buildings and very green, etc. J is a beautiful child and you work so hard to match to his needs. I know you are searching but love that you are balancing that with just enjoying life as much as you can. Yeah for you and J!

 

[Malika]

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Buddy I try to do my best - don't always achieve that... (yes, I have joined the human race).
There is a turning point about five, I think. Suddenly the way seems open clear to later childhood, the age of reason and loss of innocence. I do want to enjoy and be present to as much of this early childhood sweetness as it happens.... catch it before it flies.

 

[klmno]

Oh Yes!! Enjoy this time and take many photos and have as much quality time together as you can! Once the pre-adolescent years come and the hormones start kicking, that might be all he has going for him to prevent you killing him. (JK-really!)

 

[Malika]

Lol, thanks for the rosy outlook, klmno! Funnily enough, I was thinking about this today as we were out on another of our woodland walks and wondering whether J's sweetness and affectionate nature might not stay intact, come what may... time will tell