My favorite thing about here is.........

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    for me it's the positive attitude displayed by each and every one of you while you go through your trails and hardships, even in the "vent" posts there is always that "warrior mom" kick butt attitude that even if not written, it is felt between the written lines. I find it inspirational and also humbling. It pops me back into reality at times in which I myself am not having a very good day.

    Whose next????
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    A sense of community.
    I get great pleasure to see some difficult child's grow up or achieve or get back up after a big disappointment. My heart is so full when they have hope because they did the hard work.
    I feel real sadness and pain when a difficult child falls on his journey and breaks his mother's heart yet again.
    I get great solace from the mother's who feel my pain and say prayers for my difficult child and for me.
    The board allows us to feel proud of our struggle and to be able to hold our head up high instead of feeling shame and isolation.
    I get a ton of laughs from the board antics whether I show it or not.
    I learn new things all the time even from WaterCooler.

    For whatever reason I feel inextricably connected and entwined with the members. I'm not the owner anymore but the members are a huge piece of the fabric of my life.

    There are a lot of favorites for me.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Fran that was really sweet and so well said.
  4. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Fran, if you are the miracle worker who started this site, I would like to thank you with all my heart.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    My favorite thing is knowing I'm not alone in this.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, hmmmm. I've been here an awfully looooooooong time now. :rofl:

    For me the board is extended family. I live about 350 miles from my closest family member, so that's a huge deal to me.

    I can reach out to my board family any time of the day or night. It can be because I'm in need of urgent help, a shoulder to cry on, someone to worry with me, someone to bounce ideas off of, that I need information, or to brag about either the kids or grands, or heck, just to talk. Someone is always here. Always. I have never met such a huge group of more honestly caring people in my life as I've found here.

    It is rare indeed that a day passes that I haven't been to the board at least once, even if it's just to pop in because I don't have time to post. Usually I'm not here because for some odd reason my internet is out. lol My kids talk about their board aunties as if they are members of the family. They have gotten to know their Aunties and difficult child well enough that they ask for updates from time to time. My kids were praying as hard for Janet during her illness as I was, and were constantly badgering me for updates on her condition. :)

    And my mother keeps trying to figure out who all these family members she's heard about over the years are and where they came from. :rofl: Priceless.

    When I found this board I was quite literally at the end of my rope. A member had told me to tie a knot in the end and hold on......Well, I'm still here. :)

    I don't know how me or the kids would've faired without this board. The information I learn here......well, let's just say it's so vast I couldn't even begin. I do not say lightly that it is because of the caring members of my board family that both my difficult children are doing as well as they are today.

    If you want my opinion, every member should inform their psychiatrists, tdocs, and pediatrician/fam docs of this board. (It is posted in all the offices of every doctor both difficult children ever had lol) The URL should be posted in every office. Medical students should be required to spend an x amount of clinical hours here just reading about the reality of mental illness.

    I've watched the Power of this board and the loving devoted parents here and it never ceases to amaze me. I draw comfort from that Power. I draw strength from it. I swell with pride and joy when I see difficult child's make steps toward progress, no matter how small those steps may be. I cherish the friends I have here.

    This is the most awesome place in the world. :D
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I haven't been here as long as Lisa, but she said what I wish I could have articulated.

    I agree that it would help many tdocs, psychiatrists, sd teachers and administrators, GALs, etc. But, I really wouldn't want the people in my and difficult child's lives seeing all the things I post here!
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    My favorite thing about here is all of you. For all the reasons that Lisa and Fran mentioned too.

    I love the laughter, the ribbing, the support, the debates, the jokes, the shared tears, and the empathy.

    I love being able to post about really important stuff and not so important stuff.

    I really love that someone (or more) out there really and truly get where I'm coming from at times.

    And I love, when asked by H, "Who are you talking to?", I am able to say "My friend's on the CD board." H just says "Oh" now because he knows.
  9. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    ThreeShadows, I didn't start this site. The history if I remember correctly is
    that mamabear started a webpage. Abbey took it over after a year. Grew the site and ran it for 3 or 5 yrs. Can't recall. I took it over for 6yrs. Runawaybunny took it over almost 2 yrs ago.

    It was always an honor to be the caretaker.
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    wow and it started as a webpage, fascinating.
  11. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I actually get scared when board members get angry at each other or get their feelings hurt. Just the way I felt in my family of origin.
    From this site, I have learned how to deal with my kids AND my husband! This board is a grassroots movement, we could change the way mental illness is viewed. When I found you all I was furious that none of the professionals whose fees we were paying had taken the time to GOOGLE to help me when I thought I had failed my family.
  12. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Not too many days ago, a newcomer poured out her heart of the challenges she was facing with her difficult child. She then stated that she did not want us to think her child was all bad because he had some great qualities about him. I assured her that we do not judge these kids.

    I think one of my favorite things is that we can see beyond the struggles and challenges these kids face and see the awesome people they really are. There is so much love, hope, kindness in them. So much talent. They truley are remarkable people.

    When I see a little difficult child in church or school or out in public, the energy that child has makes me smile. I have to refrain myself from going over and giving them a big hug. There is a magic about them - yes, even those whose struggles include getting over anger. You can just feel their determination to reach an unseen goal.

    My heart goes out for the middle difficult children as they are noticing the world around them and finding it a struggle to enter the social norm. They have so much to give to society - if only they can find that place where others can see their potential. They remain creative and can find ways to meet their needs even though those ways can be annoying to say the least. They are survivors.

    My heart breaks for the older teens and adult difficult children who have not found their nitch in life. Their struggles to understand how to be independent. Even those who end up on their own after being kicked out of home. I know the reason was justifiable - no one can live with violence or we know that person will not grow if he or she remains at home. However, these are still our children - we still cry for them. We still want them to "get it" and be open to maintaining life rather it be supporting themselves with a job or living in a structured supervised home.

    Members see each person, easy child,difficult child and those who are both as special individuals who deserve the best life they can have. No one is perfect and unfortunately, it is just easier to see some people's imperfections. Why should they be treated differently then those who have learned to hide their own imperfections?

    My difficult child has come through his nightmare with shining colors. His trials led me here and I have learned so much. Thank you to everyone for helping us through our darkest hour.
  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I feel safe here.
    I feel protective of this place and of you.
    I actually learn and listen and take to heart the things I read.
    I realize the things I have known and experienced or thought may not always be the best or the correct answer because of something someone here has shown me.
    That is what I love about this place.
  14. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    This site and it's members have given me a lot. I'm truly indebted. My daughter was given back her childhood and that's something I can never repay. I was given back my confidence as a mother after it was eroded away with solitude and blame for my child's issues. I've learned I can't solve all her problems, though I can be part of the solution. I've learned that I can be part of something bigger than myself and I may even have something to offer. But most of all, I've learned to respect my daughter as her own person with her own strengths and weaknesses. I'm not here to mold her but rather to guide. I've learned to focus on the important things and to be there for her unconditionally, even if I don't like her all the time.
  15. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that no one can understand as much as another who has walked in the same shoes. Even profs- I've met many that I felt just didn't get it. Even though none of our difficult child's or situations are identical, we all have a common understanding, like Andy described, about our difficult child's still having special qualities, whatever might be unique to them, and that each of our families struggle, but we didn't just walk out there and bring this on ourselves. We are struggling to deal with the challenges and help our kids overcome them and learn to live productively in spite of them.
  16. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Gosh,'s been awhile, eh? I remember the lengthy mod's debate about having the Watercooler. I'm glad it won out.

    Jenn - it was Mammabear who initially started the site. It was under a different name...don't remember anymore, but she was just a mom trying to find answers for her son. I stumbled across it trying to find the same thing. After a year or so I offered to redo the site as I was a web designer at that time. She was tired and agreed. Bought the domain name, etc. I haven't heard from her for many years. I hope she's lurking. I never knew her real name.

    I took over for X number of years, then felt the pressure of the daily things that go on with running the site. You have enough of your own family pressures, but when you toss in thousands of wears you down. Somehow I convinced Fran to take it over. (tee hee..sorry, Fran.)

    One thing I will say is be so proud of Runawaybunny and Fran. It is SOOO much more work than it appears. Passwords don't work, people want posts deleted, legal things, advertising...the list goes on and on. All this goes on while you're trying to run your own life. If there is one thing you can do is use her sponsored links. That takes one thing off her list.

    It's an awesome community. I've met some of the best friends of my life, yet never 'really' met them. Some I have, but only a handful. Fran and I had a great crab leg dinner (remember that? board 'war' time), had the Vegas get together which I'll never forget.

    It is and always has been a safe place to land.

  17. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Abbey did you say Vegas get together?? When are we scheduling one of those????? LOL :)
  18. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Well, I'm going back in early January. Love to get together with anyone!

  19. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    This site has changed my life.
    I love the camaraderie we have as warrior momma bears fighting for our kids. Something I have never felt anywhere else.
    I love the compassion, the forgiveness, the wisdom, the insight, the honesty.
    I truly believe had I found you guys 10 years ago things would have been different in difficult children life. So glad I have you now.
    And thanks to all, Fran, Abbey, MamaBear, Runaway, who are constantly striving towards keeping this board alive.
    A friend of mine told me that this board was actually mentioned in her psychology class as a place to go for great information for difficult kids.
    That is progress.
  20. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    I love that the advice I get here is tested and true. Not just theoretical - but tried and true. People here are genuine. Not perfect - but genuine.