My Furbuddy is Gone

[Star*]

The love that you felt for your furbaby was more than evident in the way you wrote about his gentleness and love.

I'm not a crier either, and reading your post and knowing how much you miss your best friend made me cry too. I'm really very sorry for your tremendous loss.

Just know - angels watch us from above. And I belive without a shadow of a doubt that he's an angel watching and guarding you from above.

Hugs -
Star

 

[Steely]

Oh Meow..........I am so, so sad for you.
So many hugs.

My kitty unexpectedly died 2 years ago - and it was my first real experience with grief in my 40 some odd years. It was tragic. I could not believe how I just bawled and bawled. Somehow, that little beast had capture a thread in my heart. I kept trying to rationalize it, and tell myself it was silly to cry over a cat - but I could not shake the raw, true emotion I had. I will still cry if someone brings it up.

Allow yourself some time to grieve. People or pets, each of these souls holds a special place in our hearts, and we cannot deny that reality.

 

[busywend]

I am so sorry! It is a terribly sad thing to loss your pet.

HUGS!

 

[Fran]

So sorry to hear that your baby is gone. It's so hard to watch them suffer.

 

[Nomad]

I am sorry to read of your loss. I agree, he is in a better place and those around him are no doubt smiling because of their new resident. Sending healing thoughts for your hurting heart.

 

[GoingNorth]

My condolences on your loss. It is NEVER easy losing a furbuddy.

Do know you gave him a good and healthy life. An Old English Sheepdog is elderly. I was a vet tech in both Germany and the US and I've NEVER heard of one reaching that age.

Usually by ten they are ancient, and twelve is a good old age.

 

[meowbunny]

Thank you all for your kind replies. It is going to take a long time to get over Squeaks, I know that. I hate the initial pain. Everything reminds me of him. I feel slightly (?) demented -- I'm sleeping on the floor on his spot.

I got lucky with his age. I know that. I had him way longer than I deserved. His mother lived to be 15. His dad 13. He's been bred twice. I know one of his sons was still alive last year, so he'd be 15 or 16 now. Even having had him this long, it wasn't long enough. It could never be enough.

I feel like being a total brat and screaming, "It's not fair!!! I need him so much." He was the one I cried into when my daughter was being mean. He was the one who got me through my father's death. He was the one I turned to when I missed my daughter more than words could so. He's a dog for goodness sakes. I had him much longer than most people get to have their dogs. Why can't I be satisfied with what I had. Why am I acting like I lost a human that I loved and cherished? HE'S A DOG!!!

I was raised to accept that animals die. It's part of the life cycle. I've never reacted this way to the death of any pet. They are pets to me, not substitute children, not humans. Why can't I accept that with Squeaks? I keep trying to convince myself he was a dog. A very beloved dog, but a dog. It is not my child who has died, yet the pain I'm feeling is what I would imagine I would feel if it were my daughter. I walk around the house lost. When it is time for his walk, I hunt for him. I actually went and mashed his food this morning (he'd lost most of his teeth).

I want him back. I want to cry into his back about how much I miss him. I want to look at him and laugh when he rolls onto his back and waves his paws and his silly tongue hangs out. I want to see him groom the cats and then try to get the cat hair off his tongue.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so needy here. I just miss him so much and I don't understand how I got this close. I've had dogs live longer than Squeaks, so it's more than an age thing. I had a cat that was my soul mate in many ways. Squeaks was my buddy, my clown, my DOG. Not. my. child. and I want him back. IT'S NOT FAIR!

 

[standswithcourage]

I am so sorry for your loss. We have a dog that will soon be in that shape. We havae had her since my youngest son was 2 - he is 18 now. She is old but can still get around - I think her sight might be not very good but as long as she can still jump on the bed and bark I think she will be with us for a few more years. I cant imagine being without her - it is like part of the family - however I have lost dogs before but we havent had one as long as we have had her. She was our whole families dog. We got her from a pet store - she was so little and cute - a mutt. We love her and I am sure you miss your dog but she is in heaven now and not hurting. Hugs...

 

[SaraT]

So sorry. We lost one of our furbabies a few months ago, so I know how it hurts.

 

[Abbey]

Geez. I hate it when your computer freezes up in the midst of a long response. I'll try again.

You have no reason to be sad. 19 years is a LONG time to have a partner who lets you pet them and hug them through good and bad times. Nice thing about pets is they don't talk back (except my birds). They just enjoy.

Just feel thankful that you had those years and that he enjoyed it twice as much as you.

Abbey

 

[WhymeMom?]

Dogs all have their own personality. We have had three dogs and each were different. Two were the same breed, but still slightly different personalities. Our current dog just understands me and we have a close connection because I have taken the time to train him and I understand take the time to figure out what he wants and needs. He does likewise. Our personalities just click together. My feeling is you don't always get the chance to "click" with an animal, but when it comes along it's wonderful while it lasts. I'm guessing this is what you had with your dog. It isn't always explainable in feelings, you just know something is missing and you are right.....it isn't fair.......

 

[amazeofgrace]

so sorry, our pets can be more loving to us then our own family sometimes. <<<HUGS>>>

 

[KTMom91]

So, so sorry about Squeaks. Sending many, many hugs.

 

[totoro]

MB~ I am so sorry, so sad for you.

 

[Christy]

I'm late to reply but I wanted to say sorry for your loss. 19 years is a long time and I'm sure your house feels empty without your faithful pet. I hope you are doing okay.
(((hugs))))
Christy