Most of you who know me know that I haven't spoken with my family in years. A couple of times I did speak with my mother, but it's just not meant to be. They interfered with my children and took advantage of them when they were vulnerable. I am the family scape-goat. The last time I saw my father (I was a respectable 38 year old married working woman) he called me a sl-t and told me he could tell my children whatever he wanted about me because I was garbage. For two hours. My mom then grabbed my arm and said "We love you." I yanked my arm away and walked out the door. You might remember that at Thanksgiving, I had been invited to a family reunion set for August '08. I mentioned to L that it meant little, considering I wasn't welcome for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and that my cousin who is a schizophrenic who beat an old lady to death for her purse and spent 12 years in the California institute for the Criminally insane was also invited to the reunion. She asked my family if I could come for Thanksgiving and they told her "no". They said that I might come by for smaller visits to see if I was worthy of an invite to Christmas. I said "no thanks". I felt that spoke for itself. So a couple of weeks ago, my sister W calls L. She wants L to know that my father is dying (not really) and sad (you get what you deserve) and since I'm family it would be nice if I would go see him. He didn't ask for me or say he wants to see me. She also wants to know about M. Is he dead or alive, in jail or what? Real nice. L calls me and says that I should meet with her for coffee, so that I don't have to put up with my sister S (the one who wouldn't have me for Thanksgiving) that way, but she doesn't want to talk about the rift in the family and thinks we should move on. "You know, since the last time you saw Grandma you shoved her." What!?!?! That's a new one to me, how long has that one been going around? It was a horrible conversation. L's going on and on that she knows they love me and I should just move on. Move on from being falsely accused of manhandling my then 68 year old mother? I'm thinking not! "But mom, W doesn't want to go over this stuff again, she just doesn't know who you are, she hasn't seen you in 9 years!" Apparently she's been spreading lies to my children for nine years. That's way more fun than knowing someone. husband calls, and I'm crying. I feel like I have been beaten up. We talk about it, and we agree that W needs to be told that she needs to lay off my daughter. Especially with the poor dying grandfather crud and the I beat my mom up stuff. Or, she could at least pretend to listen to my side of what happened 9 years ago, and I might consider talking to her. husband calls her. No surprise that it didn't go well. She doesn't want to hear what I have to say because our father (who beat the hearing out of her left ear when she was 18) is a saint who would never do anything to harm me or my children and "You have to realize that everything you are saying is filtered through Witzend and she's a liar." He told her "Witzend is my wife, and she is my filter. I believe every word she says." Then he told me that he told her "in so many words" that she was a sh-t and hung up. I asked what the so many words were, and he just can't tell me. I think he just hung up. He didn't tell her to leave L alone. Above and beyond my supposedly beating up my mother, she laid on the "Grandma and Grandpa miss M" real thick. First off, what's it to her? Second, why don't they say so? husband tells her that we haven't seen him in five years, and we love him and worry about him every day. Her reply? "Then you got what you wanted, didn't you?" He hung up on her. He told me what was said. He then called L and told her that she is to lay off of W, and she is to lay off of me. I don't want anything to do with those people, and they don't have anyone's best interest at heart. Then she calls me. "They love you mom! What if Grandpa dies and you never get to be a part of the family again? I can't tell them they are wrong because they're my grandparents and it would be disrespectful!" That didn't go well either. I picked up some of the Christmas ornaments - we didn't have a tree - and started to wrap them up. I picked up the Nativity and threw it across the room. When it didn't break sufficiently, I stomped it to bits. I tore up every Christmas card. I swept up my mess, got every box of Christmas paraphernalia we owned and put it in the back of the car and took it to the Goodwill. I gave Allan his gifts and told him that if he didn't have mine at home he'd better not bring them here because we are not celebrating ever again. P.S. husband says he finally understands how awful they are, and how difficult it is to just say "What they say and think doesn't matter", because he now has been a personal victim of one of them letting him know that they have been spreading lies about him for years, too.