hearts and roses
Mind Reader
H and difficult child had a blow up last night. It was all precipitated by our middle dog biting easy child's puppy on the head.
Just as I was pulling out the vacuum last night, H was stomping up the stairs. The dogs get very excited and were likely also wondering where dinner was. So they were all racing to the stairs and the puppy, Izzy, nipped at the older dog, Nala, but I broke it up before anything happened. As I returned to the vacuum, I heard wild yelping from the puppy. Seemed she was running and in the excitement nipped at the middle dog, Sophie, and she bit back at the pup. Izz ran to me and I scooped her up, still yelping wildly, and ran to the bathroom. Unbeknownst to me, difficult child gave Sophie a whap just as H came running up the stairs, asked what happened and when difficult child told him, he really whacked Sophie - to difficult child's horror. She turned and yelled at him that she had already smacked Sophie and then called H and @$$hole. Yeah.
So, H yelled back at difficult child that Sophie needs to understand that it's not okay to bite (she has bitten Nala on occasions and drew blood). So, immediately, because they both freakin personalize every little word and nuance towards one another, they are now yelling, difficult child's crying, yes, my house is "Crazyland" now. difficult child goes for her keys and says she's getting the "F out of here"...then they are struggling over her keys - H grabbing them and telling her to stop being such a F-ing drama queen and to grow up and be an adult already (it was lovely) as I'm trying to settle the poor yelping puppy whose head is now bleeding and she's shaking uncontrollably. I get between them to make them see they are upsetting me and the dog but then difficult child slaps H's face. Yes.
And, to be honest, if I could have gotten there first and had thought of it, I would have slapped his face as well...and difficult child's.
At that point, H walked outside (I am sure so as not to slap difficult child back but he doesn't hit) and I again told difficult child to go to her room and she proceeded to cry hysterically.
At this point, I am really just more focused on the puppy and in my head I was just thinking, "They can both run away for all I care" but I needed someone to drive me and the pup to the emergency vet...yes. Turns out Sophie not only got her forehead, but also her left eye! It was pretty gross and I don't want to make anyone sick. She had to be seen. I seek out H who, when I ask him to drive me, begins to tell me how everything is my fault...I am the reason difficult child doesn't respect him, dredges up ancient history - I mean ANCIENT, things we've supposedly worked on from when difficult child was little - and then tells me that I am the reason things got out of hand. I asked him if he recalled that I was in the bathroom with the puppy almost the entire time, and that he and difficult child were the ones yelling and wrestling over keys. So, I went to find difficult child to drive me. H, the self righteous jerk sitting there on the couch all dirty from work watching jeopardy. Urgh.
Oh, and did I mention that the entire time, we have a set of painters on our house, painting? Yeah, it was a beautiful scene. And how at the last moment as difficult child went outside, she screamed how much she hates H? On the front lawn. We're like a three ring circus....or simply a horrible spectacle for our neighbors to bear witness to. I can't believe no one called the cops, seriously.
So, difficult child drove me to the vet, I texted easy child to tell her what happened with her pup (she was at class) and $235 later (money that is now overdrawn from my emergency account), Izz has pain and antibiotic medications, ointments, etc. Thankfully, she will be okay - her eye had trauma, but nothing permanent. She's in pain. By then I was crying...for the puppy and my money.
After all this, easy child came home and I was able to settle down for the evening. I asked difficult child if she wanted to talk, she said not really because she doesn't know what to say. I told her it was wrong to hit H and to swear at him. All of her friends get into this type of drama at their homes and I don't want it in mine...she was just weeping. H came to snuggle (?!) with me on the couch and I just put up my hand - "I am upset and angry, in case you hadn't noticed" and he said, "I can tell from your face and the way you're sitting" but said nothing else. Still acting as if he was Jesus Christ or something.
I want to write them a letter. A joint letter. It's both of them. Not one or the other - they are volatile and I cannot be in the middle. I stepped away from the center of the ring a long time ago so they could work it out...it hasn't changed anything. It pains me to see irreparable damage being done and although there is nothing I can do about it - I want them to stop dragging me back into their ****. So, do you think it's okay to write them a joint letter or do I just continue to stay uninvolved and bite my tongue while my stomach does flip flops and I puke my guts out? Last night I nearly puked when we came back home, that's how upset I was at the thought of having to face H last night. I seriously felt like I didn't want to be home. I'm tired of both of them and their drama. Things have just been going along so great. And it's like we've taken a giant step backwards. Makes me ill.
Just as I was pulling out the vacuum last night, H was stomping up the stairs. The dogs get very excited and were likely also wondering where dinner was. So they were all racing to the stairs and the puppy, Izzy, nipped at the older dog, Nala, but I broke it up before anything happened. As I returned to the vacuum, I heard wild yelping from the puppy. Seemed she was running and in the excitement nipped at the middle dog, Sophie, and she bit back at the pup. Izz ran to me and I scooped her up, still yelping wildly, and ran to the bathroom. Unbeknownst to me, difficult child gave Sophie a whap just as H came running up the stairs, asked what happened and when difficult child told him, he really whacked Sophie - to difficult child's horror. She turned and yelled at him that she had already smacked Sophie and then called H and @$$hole. Yeah.
So, H yelled back at difficult child that Sophie needs to understand that it's not okay to bite (she has bitten Nala on occasions and drew blood). So, immediately, because they both freakin personalize every little word and nuance towards one another, they are now yelling, difficult child's crying, yes, my house is "Crazyland" now. difficult child goes for her keys and says she's getting the "F out of here"...then they are struggling over her keys - H grabbing them and telling her to stop being such a F-ing drama queen and to grow up and be an adult already (it was lovely) as I'm trying to settle the poor yelping puppy whose head is now bleeding and she's shaking uncontrollably. I get between them to make them see they are upsetting me and the dog but then difficult child slaps H's face. Yes.
And, to be honest, if I could have gotten there first and had thought of it, I would have slapped his face as well...and difficult child's.
At that point, H walked outside (I am sure so as not to slap difficult child back but he doesn't hit) and I again told difficult child to go to her room and she proceeded to cry hysterically.
At this point, I am really just more focused on the puppy and in my head I was just thinking, "They can both run away for all I care" but I needed someone to drive me and the pup to the emergency vet...yes. Turns out Sophie not only got her forehead, but also her left eye! It was pretty gross and I don't want to make anyone sick. She had to be seen. I seek out H who, when I ask him to drive me, begins to tell me how everything is my fault...I am the reason difficult child doesn't respect him, dredges up ancient history - I mean ANCIENT, things we've supposedly worked on from when difficult child was little - and then tells me that I am the reason things got out of hand. I asked him if he recalled that I was in the bathroom with the puppy almost the entire time, and that he and difficult child were the ones yelling and wrestling over keys. So, I went to find difficult child to drive me. H, the self righteous jerk sitting there on the couch all dirty from work watching jeopardy. Urgh.
Oh, and did I mention that the entire time, we have a set of painters on our house, painting? Yeah, it was a beautiful scene. And how at the last moment as difficult child went outside, she screamed how much she hates H? On the front lawn. We're like a three ring circus....or simply a horrible spectacle for our neighbors to bear witness to. I can't believe no one called the cops, seriously.
So, difficult child drove me to the vet, I texted easy child to tell her what happened with her pup (she was at class) and $235 later (money that is now overdrawn from my emergency account), Izz has pain and antibiotic medications, ointments, etc. Thankfully, she will be okay - her eye had trauma, but nothing permanent. She's in pain. By then I was crying...for the puppy and my money.
After all this, easy child came home and I was able to settle down for the evening. I asked difficult child if she wanted to talk, she said not really because she doesn't know what to say. I told her it was wrong to hit H and to swear at him. All of her friends get into this type of drama at their homes and I don't want it in mine...she was just weeping. H came to snuggle (?!) with me on the couch and I just put up my hand - "I am upset and angry, in case you hadn't noticed" and he said, "I can tell from your face and the way you're sitting" but said nothing else. Still acting as if he was Jesus Christ or something.
I want to write them a letter. A joint letter. It's both of them. Not one or the other - they are volatile and I cannot be in the middle. I stepped away from the center of the ring a long time ago so they could work it out...it hasn't changed anything. It pains me to see irreparable damage being done and although there is nothing I can do about it - I want them to stop dragging me back into their ****. So, do you think it's okay to write them a joint letter or do I just continue to stay uninvolved and bite my tongue while my stomach does flip flops and I puke my guts out? Last night I nearly puked when we came back home, that's how upset I was at the thought of having to face H last night. I seriously felt like I didn't want to be home. I'm tired of both of them and their drama. Things have just been going along so great. And it's like we've taken a giant step backwards. Makes me ill.
