sent difficult child a card and we received it today. It was the same ole s**t. "Call me, call me, call me". ****, if difficult child wanted to call him, he would have done it. Then, bro says "he's sorry the family is so messed up and he can't help it what his mom (being me) thinks about him (being my bro)". Are you kidding me? This guy tried to convince people here that I was a lousy parent and that all difficult child's trouble was my fault. He tried to convince difficult child of this, too. During the time that bro's custody case was ongoing last year, the judge said I had to allow them contact because bro had told GAL that I wouldn't permit difficult child to talk with him (LIE). Anyway, bro yelled at difficult child several times during those phone calls telling difficult child that his mom didn't love him, that he was sorry all difficult child had was people like me and my mom for family, that difficult child was about to go into foster care and that it was because I wouldn't do anything for him, it went on and on until difficult child finally yelled back one day "that is a lie and I don't want to talk to you anymore and I don't ever want to live with you." Before it got to the point of bro filing for custody, bro was trying to get difficult child condoms (he was 12 and a virgin- the age of consent here is 13- now he's 13 and a virgin), he tried to get difficult child to sneak behind my back on things, he helped difficult child make a myspace page behind my back then told gal that I was letting difficult child do unacceptable things on the computer, he called the sd and told them he was worried about how I was raising "his nephew", he told difficult child that my rules were stupid, he claimed to the gal that he was only filing for custody to keep difficult child out of foster care yet he filed for permanent full custody and told difficult child that he would always be there to try to get it if difficult child ever asked him to, he refused to listen or believe that the gal had social services looking into a placement for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or psychiatric hospital or group home because difficult child had gotten into so much trouble and judge could have sent him to state juvy- it wasn't that they were removing him from home because CPS was involved or I was found to be a bad parent- he refused to listen when I tried to discuss difficult child's diagnosis, or what difficult child needed, or that he needed to quit stirring up **** or difficult child would end up in more trouble. He can't help or change how I feel about him? He hasn't spoken to my mom in a year. He hasn't apologized to me or difficult child once. But he's writing difficult child saying the same ole "call me" stuff- why? Because he thinks he can change how difficult child feels? So, he can't change how my mom or me now feel about him, but he's banking on changing how difficult child feels about him because he thinks he can sell this **** to difficult child- that's the way I take it. There has not ever been ONE time that he's discussed difficult child's diagnosis, medications, treatment, sd, real life stuff for difficult child or what is really in difficult child's best interest. It is always what bro wants and a bone or two thrown in about what difficult child wants. You know the type- what do you want for Christmas- not "this is what you need" or "what can I do to help". I know- there is no question here to answer, I just needed to vent, I guess. Seriously, my bro had a very different set of circumstances growing up and I just wish he would get some help. I think difficult child is starting to show more responsibility for his own feelings and actions than my bro is. At least I hope so. Really, I should have known and in my gut, I saw the whole thing coming. When my baby was born, my bro said he and his SO (He's gay) would adopt my baby if I'd let them- I said no. Then, he said if I needed any financial help, he couldn't give it but they would take custody. I said "I doon't think so". Then, my bro suggested that he be made a joint custodian- so he could be like the father and I could be the mom- I said no, I don't need to do that I AM THE MOM. It goes on and on- I even suggested to my bro once that if he wanted a baby that bad (he's never conceived a child, much less raised one) that he find a lady and work out an arrangement- maybe they could make that work and each have joint custody- he said he had thought about it but had to agree with his SO when his SO told him there is no way that bro could do that- bro would have to have control of it all and would never be able to share custody or decisions about a child with a woman.