nvts
Active Member
If I may, I'd like to add a different slant on things.
People of our parents age were raised with totally different outlooks on life, kids and mental illness.
My Dad loves all 11 (soon to be 12) grandchildren. He had 5 daughters and one son. My Mom looked at my brother differently than she did her daughters. It's generational. She passed long before grandchildren came into the picture, but I know deep in my heart that the boys would be handled differently than the girls.
My evil sister treats (or used to until she was banned from my life) the kids with disabilities as if she's some sort of "learned drill-sargent". SHE knows that they're overindulged, spoiled brats that are being done a disservice by their pathetic parents.
But think about it, mental illness whether it be depression, or many others, in the past were swept under the rug and up until about 20 years (and that's being generous) were thought to be either a sham or attention-seeking behavior. Our parents missed the bus.
You're not gonna change Mom, Heather. It's pretty clear. However, parameters need to be set and unfortunately, you're the one who's going to have to spell it out. Make a list - a side by side comparison if you will - of the inequities that go on between Devon and Wynter. Hand it to mom or mail it and tell her that you love her as much as life itself, but she needs to recognize the inequities.
Keep in mind, if your mom was kicking you or Wynter with steel-toed boots on, you wouldn't think twice about telling her to knock her **** off. Don't accept it just because she's kicking you guys mentally (albeit unintentionally) rather than physically.
You're the Mom. You have every right to step on anyone's neck - whether it be Mom's, Wynter's or Devons - you went through the pain of labor - it's payback time!
Hugs to your heavy heart!
Beth
People of our parents age were raised with totally different outlooks on life, kids and mental illness.
My Dad loves all 11 (soon to be 12) grandchildren. He had 5 daughters and one son. My Mom looked at my brother differently than she did her daughters. It's generational. She passed long before grandchildren came into the picture, but I know deep in my heart that the boys would be handled differently than the girls.
My evil sister treats (or used to until she was banned from my life) the kids with disabilities as if she's some sort of "learned drill-sargent". SHE knows that they're overindulged, spoiled brats that are being done a disservice by their pathetic parents.
But think about it, mental illness whether it be depression, or many others, in the past were swept under the rug and up until about 20 years (and that's being generous) were thought to be either a sham or attention-seeking behavior. Our parents missed the bus.
You're not gonna change Mom, Heather. It's pretty clear. However, parameters need to be set and unfortunately, you're the one who's going to have to spell it out. Make a list - a side by side comparison if you will - of the inequities that go on between Devon and Wynter. Hand it to mom or mail it and tell her that you love her as much as life itself, but she needs to recognize the inequities.
Keep in mind, if your mom was kicking you or Wynter with steel-toed boots on, you wouldn't think twice about telling her to knock her **** off. Don't accept it just because she's kicking you guys mentally (albeit unintentionally) rather than physically.
You're the Mom. You have every right to step on anyone's neck - whether it be Mom's, Wynter's or Devons - you went through the pain of labor - it's payback time!
Hugs to your heavy heart!
Beth
