Ok, so I have been wondering if difficult child even <u>has</u> a conscience. He is able to mimic the concept pretty well but the sincerity in the emotion surrounding it is missing from his eyes and his voice. He'll say "sorry" when caught doing something wrong but turns right around and does it again a few hours later or the next day. It is always the same things over and over. While still adding new stuff to the mix and doing those over and over, as well. He gets caught stealing from us, his sister and brother, and (over the summer) from the store. We now "pat him down" before leaving any store we take him into. He lies to us about even the smallest things even when he is told that this is not an issue where he will be in trouble, we just want to know what happened. (how did you get that cut, has anyone seen the flashlight) He lies to us and his teachers (<u>very convincingly</u>) even when faced with the evidence of wrongdoing! (like someone saw him, cameras caught him) It's almost as if he doesn't care that there are consequences for his actions! He's going to be 10 in a few months and I have to keep an eye on him like I do the 2 yo I babysit for. We know that he is at least 2-3 years behind emotionally than a "normal" 10 yo but his acting out is almost as defiant at a teenager with total disregard for what may happen. Empathy is also a problem. He does things to others, destroys their things, steals from them, lies, screams the most awful things at his "friends" but heaven forbid anyone should do the same to him! It's an all out war! A couple weeks ago, he came in the house fighting mad and ready to cry because his "friend" was calling him names. When the whole story came out, he was the one that started it by calling them names because they wouldn't follow <u>his</u> rules for a game they were playing. Trying to explain the "Treat others as you want to be treated" concept to him is impossible! I get "but I was nice to them earlier". He just doesn't get that if you treat others like dirt, they are going to do the same to you. He will scream at me and give me attitude when I ask him about something (homework, chores, etc.) and not understand why I get upset. Over the past year husband has finally seen what how difficult child treats me when he is not present, he lurks around corners and listens when difficult child thinks he is gone. When difficult child, who likes to play us against each other anyway, started getting caught at it by husband he would say that "Mom was being mean" or "I didn't do anything" and of course husband would come back with "I heard everything you said". That got his attention for about a week. Now he does it right in front of husband regardless of the consequences. Even husband, the most patient man I know, lost his cool last night. I am at a loss, now and so is husband. He finally agreed to let me take him to a psychiatrist or therapist, which has been a battle since the first time I mentioned it. husband has been going through an internal struggle blaming himself for things that difficult child does. (is it genetics, did we not pay enough attention to him in younger years, is there something we could have, should have done, etc) Last night I think he finally gave up and figured out that none of that (minus genetics) is our fault, although I sometimes think the same things. It was a sad moment for him, the same one I had 4 years ago, when you realize you have no control. He is such a strong man and to see him defeated last night broke my heart! I know the pain his heart is in right now and I just want to make it better, but I knew he would come to the realization of the situation himself eventually. I just didn't know that it would hurt me so much to see him come to it. My Mommy heart hurts for my baby but it hurts for my other 2, as well, because they suffer too. They try to be the good big sis/bro and keep him out of trouble by warning him when he is about to do something that they know he will get in trouble for but difficult child doesn't see it that way. He only sees them telling him what to do and does it anyway (sometimes just to spite them or me). They are trying to help him "get it", and when he rebuffs them it hurts their feelings. "I tried to tell him, Mom, but he wouldn't listen." (while shaking their heads sadly) Any suggestions on the best way to go about finding the right psychiatrist/therapist or combo of docs to best suit his needs and ours? Any help and/or prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulders.