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The Watercooler
My moms service, and the rest of my life
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 70883" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>Suz, I would never file for divorce right away. I am going to continue counseling every week and spend time finding out what I want for me. I do think we should have some different living arrangements for now because the pressure of living together isn't helping anything right now. It's too confusing for me. I find with him there that my thoughts waiver towards once again ignoring my needs and concentrating more on what would be easiest. I have done this for years feeling it was easier to do what makes him happy so we don't argue, feeling it was easier to try and change into someone who didn't come natural to me to make him happy. It got to the point where I loved when he would go to our place in VT without me and almost dreaded him coming home because of the pressures of his expectations. He has truley made me feel inadequate for years because he depended on me so much for his happiness and made it very well known to me that I wasn't giving him what he needed and making me feel there was something wrong with me because I didn't have the same needs as him. He needs to learn how to make himself happy and that it's not somebody elses job, and I need to learn that there is nothing wrong with me and do what will make me happy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 70883, member: 2442"] Suz, I would never file for divorce right away. I am going to continue counseling every week and spend time finding out what I want for me. I do think we should have some different living arrangements for now because the pressure of living together isn't helping anything right now. It's too confusing for me. I find with him there that my thoughts waiver towards once again ignoring my needs and concentrating more on what would be easiest. I have done this for years feeling it was easier to do what makes him happy so we don't argue, feeling it was easier to try and change into someone who didn't come natural to me to make him happy. It got to the point where I loved when he would go to our place in VT without me and almost dreaded him coming home because of the pressures of his expectations. He has truley made me feel inadequate for years because he depended on me so much for his happiness and made it very well known to me that I wasn't giving him what he needed and making me feel there was something wrong with me because I didn't have the same needs as him. He needs to learn how to make himself happy and that it's not somebody elses job, and I need to learn that there is nothing wrong with me and do what will make me happy. [/QUOTE]
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