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My mother is taking over my life and I don't know what to do anymore!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 654919" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>There are people, unfortunately, who will not accept boundaries though. No matter how nice you state them. That was why I said it's best to go no contact. It sounds like there is something wrong with your mother and I doubt she will accept your boundaries, even if she does things under the table. If you decide you can't let go of her, do change every password you have, inform the school in writing that you want NOBODY at your IEPs but you and that nobody but you is allowed to get any information about your kids. I am fearing this will start her on a rampage against you, which is where the no contact advice came in. I don't think she will go quietly or possibly she will refuse to go at all unless you don't let her into your life.</p><p></p><p>All grandmothers love their grandchildren. I love mine to pieces. I don't even consider telling my grown kids how to raise them. When I visit, I follow their rules about the kids and just enjoy the grands. As much as I love them, I did my parenting already and do not want to interfere or worse, give a thumbs down, to how my grown children are raising their children. If sh e zaps all your confidence, and I know that this can be done, you will feel inadequate and needy towards her and you aren't.</p><p></p><p>Big hugs to my California friend!!!! And please...I was too quick perhaps to say NC. That is a very personal decision and hard to do. But you do need to start keeping secrets. And I wouldn't blame you for NC if you do that down the road...later or now. Who knows what else she will pull? This is actually in my own opinion worse than mothers who are apathetic to their kids!!!! I had one like that and I much prefer it to having a mother who fakes she is me and snoops into my bank account! That is not ok.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 654919, member: 1550"] There are people, unfortunately, who will not accept boundaries though. No matter how nice you state them. That was why I said it's best to go no contact. It sounds like there is something wrong with your mother and I doubt she will accept your boundaries, even if she does things under the table. If you decide you can't let go of her, do change every password you have, inform the school in writing that you want NOBODY at your IEPs but you and that nobody but you is allowed to get any information about your kids. I am fearing this will start her on a rampage against you, which is where the no contact advice came in. I don't think she will go quietly or possibly she will refuse to go at all unless you don't let her into your life. All grandmothers love their grandchildren. I love mine to pieces. I don't even consider telling my grown kids how to raise them. When I visit, I follow their rules about the kids and just enjoy the grands. As much as I love them, I did my parenting already and do not want to interfere or worse, give a thumbs down, to how my grown children are raising their children. If sh e zaps all your confidence, and I know that this can be done, you will feel inadequate and needy towards her and you aren't. Big hugs to my California friend!!!! And please...I was too quick perhaps to say NC. That is a very personal decision and hard to do. But you do need to start keeping secrets. And I wouldn't blame you for NC if you do that down the road...later or now. Who knows what else she will pull? This is actually in my own opinion worse than mothers who are apathetic to their kids!!!! I had one like that and I much prefer it to having a mother who fakes she is me and snoops into my bank account! That is not ok. [/QUOTE]
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My mother is taking over my life and I don't know what to do anymore!
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